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Shared Parenting Dad Moves from Sweden to Greece, Loses Child

October 16, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

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Our friends at Active Dads of Greece send us this story:

Alexander is the father of two young children. His ex-wife and mother of his children is Greek. The children were born in Sweden where they lived as a family at the time. The couple decided to divorce by consensus and the divorce was granted in Sweden, where the institution of joint and indivisible parental custody applies even after a divorce, which they successfully practiced for two consecutive years. In Sweden, the institution of alternating residence and equal time of children in two homes, mom’s and dad’s, also applies, with a weekly rotation in each home, maintaining the child’s permanent residence at the same municipality where the family used to live before the divorce; which also happened in the case of Alexander. That is, the parents, even after a divorce, are legally presumed to continue co-deciding on all issues relating to the upbringing of their children, such as health, education, place of residence. The well-being of children growing up in this context as well as their emotional balance, are at very high levels.

By mutual agreement, the ex-spouses and their children went back to Greece. The mother, knowing that in Greece the custody of the children is traditionally awarded solely to one of the two parents, and more usually the mother, made a fresh application to the Greek courts.  After the involvement of the Greek Justice, the joint physical custody (shared parenting) arrangement was overturned, and custody was awarded solely to the mother of the children, who now makes all the decisions that concern the daily life of the children. In this way, the father no longer has any say in the upbringing, education and health of his children. In addition, the children’s contact with their father became problematic due to the institutional framework and the said decision of the Greek judge. It has become impossible for the father to access information about his children’s daily lives. He [is refused] information about his children regarding health, education, behavior, sociability, reactions, school, etc. He is often forced to ask for a prosecutor’s order, in order to be informed about his children’s health issues! The parents now live in different cities, and while the father has explored the possibilities of moving to the city where his children live, the Greek courts will not give him a substantial role in their upbringing, nor more time with them.

In short, children who were doing well under a shared parenting arrangement in Sweden had that arrangement destroyed by a Greek court and replaced with one that is less prone to promote their well-being.  Why?  Because Greek family courts very plainly know nothing of the science on parenting arrangements that are best for kids and have a pronounced pro-mother/anti-father bias.  Active Dads of Greece wants that to change.

They have a good point.  Not only does shared parenting promote the best interests of children except in unusual circumstances, it’s the plain intention of the European Parliament that, in 2015 passed Resolution 2079 that states, among other things,

Within families, equality between parents must be guaranteed and promoted from the moment the child arrives. The involvement of both parents in their child’s upbringing is beneficial for his or her development. The role of fathers with regard to their children, including very young children, needs to be better recognised and properly valued.

And,

Shared parental responsibility implies that parents have rights, duties and responsibilities with regard to their children. The fact is, however, that fathers are sometimes faced with laws, practices and prejudices which can cause them to be deprived of sustained relationships with their children. In its Resolution 1921 (2013) on gender equality, reconciliation of private and working life and co-responsibility, the Assembly called on the authorities of the member States to respect the right of fathers to enjoy shared responsibility by ensuring that family law foresees, in case of separation or divorce, the possibility of joint custody of children, in their best interests, based on mutual agreement between the parents.  

And,

The Assembly wishes to point out that respect for family life is a fundamental right enshrined in Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights (ETS No. 5) and numerous international legal instruments. For a parent and child, being together is an essential part of family life. Parent–child separation has irremediable effects on their relationship. Such separation should only be ordered by a court and only in exceptional circumstances entailing grave risks to the interest of the child.

And,

Furthermore, the Assembly firmly believes that developing shared parental responsibility helps to transcend gender stereotypes about the roles supposedly assigned to women and men within the family and is simply a reflection of the sociological changes that have taken place over the past fifty years in terms of how the private and family sphere is organised.

Despite its membership in the European Union, Greece, through its family courts, almost uniformly ignores all of those aspects of Resolution 2079 and the others it sites.

The parallels to the United States are hard to miss.  In Europe, as here, a child’s chances of maintaining real relationships with both parents post-divorce are fairly good in, say, Sweden and Belgium and terrible in Greece and Spain.  Here, states like Kentucky, Arizona and Utah tend to respect the child’s rights far better than they do in, say, Texas and North Dakota.

Why should a child’s well-being (that’s so closely related to his/her parenting arrangement) depend on the vicissitudes of their state of residence that plainly have no bearing, except in the laws and practices of state courts?  Substitute the word “country” for the word “state” and you’re asking the same question about Europe.  The science on shared parenting isn’t state- or country-specific.  But the practices of judges are very much so.  It’s the kids who suffer.

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Another Hollywood Star Opines on Fathers

October 15, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

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One of the few silver linings to an otherwise dismal 2020 has been our ever-increasing willingness to ignore Hollywood personalities who are ever-ready to look down from their Olympian heights and inform us, the great unwashed, of what we need to do and think.  Particularly during the early stages of the COVID-19 outbreak, movie and recording stars seemed to be more than usually moved to opine and with more than their usual cluelessness.

Still, opine they do (SimpleMost, 10/8/20).  In this case, Keira Knightly deigns to provide a few words on what “we” do regarding fathers and the workplace and what “we” should be doing.  Thank goodness.  I was waiting with bated breath.

Interestingly, the article’s writer, Claire Gillespie, clearly believes that Knightly is saying something she’s actually not.  Here’s Gillespie’s set-up.

It’s not easy to balance motherhood and work. Millions of moms can attest to that, and nobody has any easy answers. But what about fatherhood and work? Generally, dads aren’t asked about the juggling act, and actress Keira Knightley thinks it’s about time they were.

Gillespie’s right that fathers are rarely asked about how they juggle work and family.  That’s probably because, overwhelmingly, the answer is already known.  How dads handle their obligations to their children is generally to work more hours, provide more resources and have personal time with their children when they can.

But whatever the reason “we” don’t ask fathers about how they juggle work and childcare, Knightly’s point is quite different.

“Why do we not expect a working man to be looking after their children as much as their partner is?” Knightley asked.

She doesn’t wonder why we don’t ask fathers, she’s demanding that fathers do more hands-on care, a different matter altogether.

And, if she knew the basics of her chosen topic, she’d know the answer to her question.  But she doesn’t.  She’s absorbed the decades-old public narrative about fathers not doing their share of childcare, mothers working a “second shift,” and related nonsense.  But what she hasn’t done is consult the known facts of the matter.  Yes, they’re just a couple of mouse clicks away, but Knightly, like so many others, hasn’t taken the trouble to, literally, lift a finger.  After all, it’s so much easier to have an opinion if you don’t let facts get in the way.  And, since the press always seems to want to know what actors and actresses have to say about matters about which they’re ignorant, why make the effort?

Those pesky facts of course are that someone has to bring home the bacon and that someone tends very strongly to be fathers.  Countless studies over several decades demonstrate that, even the best educated and most highly motivated women tend to cut their hours at paid work when their first child arrives.  If their family finances permit, they tend to drop out of the rat race entirely.

They do that because they’re powerfully motivated by parenting hormones to devote their full energies to nurturing and caring for their offspring.  Hominin females have been doing that for hundreds of thousands of years, and yet people like Knightly convince themselves that the only reason women don’t do more paid work is their male partners’ lack of interest in their children.

How many studies and surveys do people like Knightly need before they notice the obvious – that mothers’ preference for childcare over paid work is what’s calling the shots about who does what when mothers and fathers allocate their time.  Dr. Catherine Hakim has plenty of information from women and men who live in the countries of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.  Overwhelmingly, those women prefer childcare and home duties to paid work and men prefer the converse.  And that of course makes for a nice meshing of roles and always has, should Knightly care to notice.

Nor does she notice information from, say, the Department of Labor’s American Time Use Survey that, for many years, has shown men doing more and more childcare and that, when hours spent in childcare and paid work are combined, men and women do statistically equal amounts.

Finally, Knightly has no clue about the single factor that most predicts a man’s getting divorced – the loss of his job.  Why might that be?  Why should income provision play such an important role in a woman’s attachment to a man?  Because that too is how we’ve evolved.  For eons, females looked to the dominant male hierarchy for individuals with whom to mate.  Over all that time, some 60% of males didn’t get to mate because they hadn’t attained high enough status.  And membership in the male hierarchy tended strongly to be a matter of territory protection and resource provision.  And what is today’s earning but resource provision?

All this is news to Knightly and her ilk.  As is so often the case, toney Hollywood celebs feel entitled to opine on subjects about which they haven’t the most basic information.  They’re good people to ignore.  It’s a beneficial trend that more and more people are doing so. 

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A Parenting Amendment to the Constitution?

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October 2, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

This looks to me like tilting at windmills, but, even so, it’s a sign of the times, and not a bad one (PRWeb.com, 9/29/20).  The link is to a press release from the Family Preservation Foundation and its Executive Director, Dwight Mitchell.  The press release urges readers to sign the foundation’s petition that in turn urges Congress to adopt Resolution H.J. Res. 36 that would create a constitutional amendment establishing parental rights.

Here’s the text of the resolution put forward by Rep. Jim Banks of Indiana and that has 15 co-sponsors.

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Nebraska High Court Reasserts Parental Rights

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September 29, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

On September 7, the Nebraska Supreme Court issued a very good decision in the case of Nebraska ex rel. Tina K. vs. Adam B. and Jo K.  It’s not as perfect as I’d like, but it clearly sets out the conditions under which a court may deprive a parent of the care, love and companionship of his/her child.  The court adopted the reasoning of a New Jersey Supreme Court case that held that the preference accorded biological parents can only be overridden in rare circumstances, defined as “serious physical or psychological harm or a substantial likelihood of such harm.”

Tina K. is the more important because of the nature of the parents involved.  They weren’t good.  Given that, the court’s stringent requirements placed on the state clearly apply to protect almost any parent.

Tina K. and Adam B. lived together for a few months and had a child, Destiny B., in 2003.  It appears that Tina was a heavy user of methamphetamine and did so during her pregnancy with Destiny.  The Supreme Court’s recitation of the facts of the case is sometimes vague, but, over the years, Tina seems to have been more of a drug addict than anything else.  While Destiny was growing up, Tina went to prison twice for selling controlled substances.  When out, she seems to rarely have had a fixed residence or a functioning car. 

Indeed, the one justice concurring in the case had this to say about Tina:

I believe there was sufficient evidence based on a de novo review of the record to find Tina was unfit to parent her minor daughter, Destiny B. Tina’s repeated criminal actions resulted in her inability to parent, and her lifestyle choices created an unhealthy and unstable living environment.

But, during Destiny’s teenage years, Tina definitely improved her behavior, found an apartment and a job and apparently got off the stuff.  She did so sufficiently for the trial court to find that she was not an unfit mother.

Adam B. was less so.  The two traded off custody of Destiny for about 12 years and eventually Adam admitted that he shouldn’t have custody of his daughter.  During the gaps in parental custody, Jo K. stepped in.  She seems to have been, at the very least, a capable and caring stand-in for a parent and Destiny, who was a poor student in her mother’s care, pulled herself up nicely with Jo.  Eventually, she was making honor-roll type grades.

With Adam out of the picture, Jo sought custody of Destiny and the trial court agreed finding that, although Tina was a fit parent, Destiny’s best interests demanded that she live with Jo.  In short, the court used the undefined and free-wheeling “best interests” standard to oust a mother from custody of her child.  And that, under the U.S. Supreme Court case of Troxel v. Granville, it cannot do.

The Nebraska Supreme Court said exactly that.  Given a parent who is not unfit (defined as a personal deficiency or incapacity that has prevented, or will probably prevent, performance of a reasonable parental obligation in child rearing and that has caused, or probably will result in, detriment to a child’s well-being), a state may only intervene in parenting to prevent the aforementioned “serious physical or psychological harm or a substantial likelihood of such harm.”  The trial court clearly didn’t think any such thing had happened or was likely to, but transferred custody to Jo anyway.  That was legal error and the high court reversed the decision.

This case goes to bat for natural parents against all others.  It may make some readers uneasy because, on balance, Jo seems to be clearly the better caregiver to Destiny.  But it is exactly that type of ad hoc decision-making that Troxel is designed to avoid.  We can always find someone who might be a better parent than the child’s mother or father.  Under the best interests standard, any impecunious parent could be removed by the state in favor of any well-heeled adult.

But to favor such judicial outcomes would be public-policy madness, to say nothing of disastrous for child well-being.  The fact is that, in this country, parents have parental rights, as they should.  As the Nebraska court said,

Parents have a fundamental right to make decisions concerning the care, custody, and control of their children that is constitutionally protected.  Establishment and continuance of the parent-child relationship is the most fundamental right a child possesses to be equated in importance with personal liberty and the most basic constitutional rights.  In recognition of this important relationship, the parental preference principle establishes a rebuttable presumption that the best interests of the child are served by placing custody of a minor child with his or her parent.  Under the parental preference principle, absent proof that a parent is unfit or has forfeited the right to custody, a parent may not be deprived of the custody of a minor child.

Parental rights are enshrined in law as sacredly as any of our legal rights and more than most.  They cannot be removed or ignored by a judge on the basis of what may or may not be of benefit to a child.  Those who believe that a child’s best interests should rule in all cases must consider that the alternative to parental rights is the control of children by the state.  They should then consider that the record of state interference in parental decision-making is littered with incompetence, arrogance and child abuse.  Read the news any day about the behavior of child protective services and see what I mean.

Now, I’m not at all convinced that the above quotation is an entirely fair reading of Troxel.  The U.S. Supreme Court made it abundantly clear that, absent a finding of unfitness, the state has no interest in parenting decisions.  The Nebraska and New Jersey courts skirt that ruling and embroider it with considerations unmentioned in it.

Still, the law in Nebraska appears pretty clear: it takes a finding of parental unfitness for a state to oust a parent of custody and unfitness consists of fairly extreme behavior that states will usually be hard-pressed to prove.

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg on Fathers

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September 25, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

As all now know, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is no longer with us.  She had long been seriously ill and finally succumbed to the cancer that had dogged the end of her life.  In this election year, it goes without saying that her death and the resulting vacancy on the nation’s highest court have caused paroxysms of opinion mongering across the political spectrum.

I offer no deep thoughts on her as a person or as a jurist.  Certainly, she was a hard worker and, if those with whom she worked are any guide, a person with a strong sense of fairness.  She was a feminist who, at least in some instances understood that men sometimes hold the short end of the equality stick.  So, for example, as a practicing attorney, she successfully represented a man against the Social Security Administration.  At the time, if a husband died, his wife was entitled to “widow’s benefits,” but if a wife died, her surviving husband was entitled to zip.  Ginsburg, through her representation of a man whose wife had died and was denied benefits, changed what were plainly gender-biased regulations.

So what did she think about fathers?  There the coast is not so clear.  Here’s what she said in 1993 during a panel discussion for the Women’s Bar Association of the District of Columbia.

“I’m still not going to give up on what I think is not an impossible dream and that is to get men to be parents. I have a law clerk this year who is the primary caretaker of his children. He is on a much more flexible schedule than any other law clerk on that court. People say that it’s got to be an eight in the morning to one in the morning job. Well, it doesn’t have to be, especially with modern technology. So there are people who have reservations about that decision, and there are some people who say, ‘Well, why are you doing it with a guy?’ Well, it happens to be that he clerked for me before and I knew how well this could work out. But there’s another reason, too. I want the men to see that men do this, men who are ‘real men’ still can be loving and caring parents. Because I think if we can ever get across that message there is nothing that will improve women’s status more in the world than for men to be equal parents with women.”

Ginsburg of course was a highly intelligent, highly educated woman.  Despite that, she somehow held the notion that fathers aren’t parents.  Indeed, she offered the strange idea that getting them to be parents was “not an impossible dream.”  So, in her estimation, (a) fathers aren’t parents, but (b) with enough urging, we can get them to be parents even though it’s going to be tough and perhaps not even possible.

Both notions are absurd on their face and both depend entirely on a definition of “parent” as “doing what mothers typically do as parents.”  What Ginsburg was inveighing against of course was the bifurcation of roles that, in 1993 and now, tend toward the mother as provider of direct childcare and the father as provider of resources.  But for her to say that fathers who emphasize paid work in some way forfeit the title of parent is both factually incorrect and outrageous.  The simple fact is that children need what fathers provide.  Story reading and diaper changing are necessary for children, but when they’re performed under a bridge in February, it’s hard to argue that little Andy or Jenny is getting all the parenting they need.  The resources fathers provide include things like food, shelter, clothing, medical care, etc.  What child can do without those things?  Fathers providing for their families is parenting.  Period.

Weirder still is Ginsburg’s apparent unawareness of the consequences of what she said.  As a feminist, she often went to war to get more women into paid work.  Were those mothers who worked full time all of a sudden not parents?  According to Ginsburg’s theory, it seems they would not be.

Which brings us to family law.  The very notion perpetuated by Ginsburg – that fathers aren’t parents because they do more resource provision and less hands-on parenting than do mothers – is embraced daily by family court judges who then give primary custody to mothers.  With mothers given the lion’s share of parenting time, their ability to work and earn is significantly impaired, i.e. hardly the result Ginsburg wanted, but, ironically, the one her notion of fatherhood results in.

As to her idea that men who are “loving and caring” fathers not being perceived as “real men,” I can only say that, in my life, I have known countless men who are fathers.  Hundreds for sure and probably thousands.  I can’t name a one who wasn’t loving and caring toward his kids.  Nor can I name one who didn’t consider himself a real man or who wasn’t considered as one by his friends and neighbors.  The whole idea that loving one’s children is a threat to men’s self-concept is nothing but a straw man.  Men have loved and gloried in the children for eons and will continue to do so, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, notwithstanding.

Finally, Ginsburg’s final two sentences assume that men’s failure to do more hands-on parenting is what’s holding women back in the workplace.  It’s a common theme and commonly false.  What’s true is that women strongly tend to value motherhood over paid work.  We see it time and again throughout all sorts of datasets and studies as well as anecdotally.  Dr. Catherine Hakim, for example, has compiled figures on what women and men prefer to do with their time.  Overwhelmingly, women prefer childcare to paid work and men the converse.  Among women who work full-time, one study found over 60% of them saying they’d prefer to work less, while men wanted to work more.  Month in and month out for decades, the U.S. Department of Labor shows women doing less paid work than do men.  Women who work full-time work fewer hours per week than do men who work full-time.  The greatest predictor of divorce for a man is the loss of his job.

I could go on and on, but precisely none of that squares with Ginsburg’s view of women or men.  That’s because the evolved biology of men’s and women’s parenting behaviors is a far better guide to predicting those behaviors than any political ideology.  More importantly, mothers and fathers are both parents, regardless of how they choose to allocate their time.  Any suggestion to the contrary tends to deprive children of one of their parents, which is the exact opposite of what should be done.

Justice Ginsburg had many fine qualities and she will be missed.  Sadly, her understanding of what fathers do for their children was skewed by her embrace of political ideology instead of evolutionary biology.

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Think You’re Not Married? In Ontario, Think Again

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September 18, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

In Ontario, it’s officially open season on anyone earning a good income (National Post, 9/10/20).  Beware all those who do.  If you have a girl/boyfriend and endeavor to treat them well, you may find yourself married.  No, you didn’t walk down the aisle and no, you never lived together for any significant period of time.  No rings were exchanged nor vows taken, nor marriage license issued.  That’s all so passé, so totally yesterday.  In Ontario, it’s a whole new, brave new world, whose whole point is money, or, to be precise, alimony.

Michael Latner is apparently very well-off financially, so, when he met and fell in love with Lisa Climans back in 2000, he was lavish in his support of her.  She quit her job and he supported her and her three children in a style to which they’d theretofore never been accustomed.  They ate well, lived well, traveled extensively and all on his nickel.  What they didn’t do was marry, live together or have a joint bank account.

Clearly, that was Latner’s idea of self-protection.  If the relationship didn’t work out, he seems to have thought, the absence of a shared residence and comingled finances would ensure that he was not legally deemed to have married Climans and so wouldn’t be liable to her for alimony.  That’s made all the clearer by these facts: he proposed to her, she accepted, but refused to sign the marriage contract that was his condition for tying the knot.  In other words, he was happy to marry her, but only if she agreed to withhold any serious claims on his wealth.  And she was happy to marry him, but not if doing so would deprive her of a shot at his money.  Apparently, great minds think alike.

But Latner has now learned the hard way that Ontario law gives him and anyone else similarly situated not the least guidance about how to protect hard-earned wealth.

A wealthy businessman will have to pay more than $50,000 a month in spousal support for 10 years to a woman with whom he had a long-term romantic relationship even though they kept separate homes and had no children together, Ontario’s top court has ruled.

Yes, Latner and Climans were together just 14 years, during which time he paid for essentially everything, lifting her to a lifestyle she never would have reached on her own, and now he gets to fund that lifestyle for 10 more years.  For the mathematically disinclined, that’s about $6.3 million in addition to everything he paid her before.  Amazing, but true.

Several issues raise their ugly heads.

The first is what I referred to in my opening paragraph.  If a couple is unmarried, when will alimony be ordered and when will it not be?  If the higher-earning partner wants to protect his/her income, what needs to be done?  The answer is a roll of the dice.  There are no hard and fast rules.  Cohabitation and joint finances aren’t necessary for a relationship to be considered a common law marriage, but what is?  Apparently, anything a judge decides.  Latner clearly tried to follow the rules and failed.

Let’s be clear, while Latner is a wealthy man, most others aren’t, but this ruling doesn’t apply only to the wealthy.  It applies to every Tom, Dick and Mary who happens to earn more than their paramours.  As I said, it’s open season.

Plus, apart from this case and its impact on future ones, why have alimony at all?  Spousal support is an artifact of days long gone by when it was assumed, however erroneously, that a single woman couldn’t support herself.  Whatever the merits or demerits of that notion, it’s unquestionably no longer true, if it ever was.  Generally speaking, there is no reason why one adult should be legally required to support another adult to whom they’re no longer married.  Yes, there are exceptions to that rule, as when one ex is disabled in some way.  Likewise, if one ex needs a year or so to retrain for employment or to simply find a job that provides support, then the other ex may reasonably be required to chip in.

But ten years?  $52,000 per month?  For a healthy, competent woman?  It makes no sense.  Nothing that Lisa Climans did or didn’t do should merit that lavish support.  Nothing.  She led an opulent lifestyle during her time with Latner, entirely because of him and his wealth.  If she no longer wishes to be with him, fine, but she should not be able to import her lifestyle with him to her life without him.

Finally, as I’ve said before, alimony militates against marriage and marriage is an institution every healthy society wants to promote.  Laws establishing alimony do precisely the opposite of what we should be doing.  Spousal support encourages divorce, and, as of now, discourages even unmarried intimate relationships.  Everyone needs to understand that, in Ontario, pretty much any relationship can result in a long stretch in alimony prison.

The Latner/Climans decision makes a bad law so much worse.

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The Coup de Grâce

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September 14,2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

No effort to convince readers that, against all the evidence, family courts are biased against mothers would be complete without eliding the differences between Parental Alienation Syndrome and parental alienation.  And Natalie Pattillo’s piece in the New York Review of Books doesn’t disappoint. 

The reason for doing so is to tar the concept of PA with the name Richard Gardner.  He’s long dead and therefore presents no risk of a libel or defamation suit and so is fair game.  Pattillo introduces the term “parental alienation” and, just one sentence later pretends that it’s the same as PAS.

And no such article would be complete without misrepresenting what PA and PAS actually are.  Again, following the script closely, Pattillo does the same.

“Parental Alienation Syndrome,” a widely rejected theory coined by child psychiatrist Richard Gardner, asserts that a child who is traumatized by communication and/or visits with an abusive parent is only reacting that way because the other parent, who he claimed is often a vengeful mother, brainwashed or “alienated” the child to dislike the abusive parent.

No, actually the definition of either term, PA or PAS, has nothing to do with children responding appropriately to abuse by a parent.  On the contrary, both terms refer to children’s inappropriate rejection of a parent due to the alienating efforts by the other parent.  It’s a simple concept and one that’s observed fairly frequently, particularly in divorce cases or their aftermath.  The simple truth is that some parents use alienating tactics in an effort to marginalize the other parent in the life of the child.

The anti-Dad crowd, of which Pattillo appears to be a card-carrying member, hates the idea that courts and mental health professionals more and more acknowledge both the reality and the deleterious effects of PA on children.  Not only that, they increasingly take steps to rectify alienation of children.  The reason Pattillo and her fellow travelers hate the idea is that they see it as depriving mothers of power over children and fathers and, as far as that goes, they’re right.

But what they miss is that fathers can be alienators too.  If courts were to follow the dictates of those who oppose recognition of PA, fathers would be able to remove mothers from the lives of their kids as readily as vice versa.  Setting aside the fact that parental alienation is a clear form of child abuse, is that what they really want?  It seems unlikely, but the obvious result of their campaign would be exactly that.

Make no mistake about it, the opposition to recognition of PA wants no evidence thereof to be admissible in court.

Guidelines from the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (NCJFCJ), a judicial membership organization that aims to provide guidance to judges and court officials on cases involving domestic violence, advise that any “parental alienation” claims should be ruled inadmissible. 

I can’t imagine on what they base their claim that evidence of PA should be inadmissible in court.  After all, on one hand the anti-Dad crowd talks of little but domestic violence and child abuse, both of which are relevant to child custody issues, but then turns around and wants evidence of one particular (and particularly damaging) form of child abuse ignored altogether.  It doesn’t make sense, but there it is.

Finally, Pattillo stoops so low as to cite a laughably bad – what to call it?  Paper?  Assertion?  Myth? – by Joyanna Silberg.  She does so, as she does with essentially everything she cites or quotes, because Silberg agrees with her take on fathers, domestic violence and child custody.  Now, sensibly, Pattillo nowhere mentions Silberg’s name.  That’s sensible because Silberg is well known as an advocate for mothers who claim abuse or DV by fathers.  She’s a licensed psychologist, but neutral or balanced, she’s anything but.  Despite her paper credentials, Silberg’s opinions are routinely ignored by judges or ruled inadmissible due to her plain bias.  Here are a few words from a trial judge in the 2017 Maryland case of Holt v. Holt:

I need to say something about Dr. Silberg. I’m going to say not as much as I’d like to say. First, I don’t believe her. I disbelieve her testimony. She clearly came to this case with a view. She clearly, respectfully was wearing a jersey. She did not approach this case, in my judgment, scientifically or clinically. She presented, in my opinion, as a cheerleader. There were tremendous analytical gaps in her testimony. While she is certainly qualified on paper, in this case her opinion in my judgment lacks any credible or adequate factual basis…

She waved off anything that didn’t fit with her hypothesis. She disregarded facts that were clearly contrary to hypothesis. I don’t believe her to be blunt. I don’t believe her. She had no factual basis which I credit. She did not employ methodology which to my mind was sound. This was the case of Walt. She gave me a couple, three I told you so opinions, which as Judge Moylan said, are not worth anything. So I give her opinion zero weight. 

This is not atypical of Silberg’s reception in court.  She’s biased from start to finish, ignores facts that conflict with her pre-made opinion, does not approach the matter as a scientist and her opinion merits “zero weight.”

Not to Pattillo who cites a piece cobbled together by Silberg for the sole purpose to which Pattillo puts it.  The piece is, like Silberg’s courtroom testimony, asserted for a purpose – to convince the unwary or the credulous that there is an epidemic of judges giving primary custody to child abusers.  Specifically, Silberg purports to “find” that some 58,500 such children are delivered into the hands of their abusive parents by family courts every year.

That’s an impressive number, but is it valid?  Who knows?  Certainly Silberg’s “methodology” is so plainly shoddy, so obviously used only to arrive at the pre-conceived conclusion, that the piece is useless.  Put simply, no one – not me, not Joyanna Silberg, nor anyone else – knows how many allegations of DV or child abuse are made in family courts each year, how many of them are meritorious or how many of them result in the abuser receiving custody.  The reason we don’t know those things is that no one keeps records of them.  So Silberg’s conclusion is based entirely on supposition that, I hardly need add, is made for her own unscrupulous ends.

Pattillo’s article is a disgrace.  The New York Review of Books should have the self-respect, and the respect for its readers, to take it down.

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Yes, Natalie Pattillo Cites Barry Goldstein

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September 10, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

Nothing quite condemns any publication quite like citing Barry Goldstein as a reputable source.  But that’s exactly what Natalie Pattillo did in her article in the New York Review of Books about which I wrote last time.  Who is Barry Goldstein?  To begin with, he’s yet another of the true believers, like Pattillo herself, who never get around to admitting female violence against men or that many allegations of DV, when made during a divorce action are made to gain the upper hand therein.

But if that were all that Barry Goldstein is, he’d just be one of many.  In fact, he’s unique.  Barry Goldstein at one time was an attorney in New Jersey.  (The state’s bar association now lists him as “retired.”)  Back in 2008, Goldstein won the dubious distinction of being suspended by the bar grievance committee for a whopping five years due to an equally whopping 26 violations of the canons of legal ethics.  About half of those were for playing fast and loose with client funds, but the rest originated from his representation of Yevgenia Shockome whose case was a textbook example of the abuse of the legal system by those who want us to believe that only men abuse and only women and children are abused.

Suffice it now to say that Genia, abetted by her lawyer, Barry Goldstein, claimed that her husband Tim abused her and their children.  The trial judge and an appellate court found her claims to be false and changed child custody to Tim.  So what, apart from knowingly putting on false evidence, did Goldstein do that was so bad?  Here’s the appellate court’s decision in Goldstein’s disciplinary case.

The following is typical of Goldstein’s behavior in the Shockome case:

Charge 12 alleges that the respondent engaged in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit, or misrepresentation, in violation of Code of Professional Responsibility DR 1-102(a)(4) (22 NYCRR 1200.3[a][7] ).   On behalf of his client, he prepared and filed with this Court a petition for writ of habeas corpus and a petition in a proceeding pursuant to CPLR article 78.   These materials contained sworn statements which were dishonest, false, or misleading.

In other words, Goldstein lied to the court under oath.  There were 11 similar charges against him, all of which were deemed established by the grievance committee and the appellate court.

Tim Shockome who, throughout the circus trial put on by Goldstein and afterward, kept a low profile, hoping to shield his children from the publicity, eventually had this to say.

Here’s how Glenn Sacks described the case Goldstein put before the court:

The entire premise of the Genia Shockome story hinges on the notion that Tim battered Genia prior to 2000 and, in repeatedly violating court orders to allow her children access to their father, she was acting to protect them. However, Genia’s allegations of domestic violence and child sexual abuse have never been substantiated in any court proceeding, nor supported by any witnesses. Writing with admirable restraint, Judge Amodeo, whose decisions in the case have been repeatedly upheld by higher courts, noted:

“In [Genia’s] August 2000 complaint in the divorce action, no mention is made of the domestic violence which Genia later asserted. She claimed that she was unaware that she was the victim of domestic violence; however, such a lack of awareness would not have made her unable to recount historical facts, especially if the severity and frequency of the abuse she alleged were true. Why didn’t she mention the abuse earlier in the case?”

There were three independent custody evaluations in the case, none of which found anything negative of substance against Tim Shockome. The first one called him a good parent, and the other two went as far as to recommend he get custody because of his parenting and because of Genia’s relentless attempts to drive him out of his children’s lives.

The most recent of these evaluators, Dr. Meg Sussman, has a feminist background and worked for Pace University’s Battered Women’s Justice Center. Sussman, who specializes in domestic violence and child abuse cases, recommended that Genia have only supervised visitation until she could accept the children’s father’s role in their lives.

In two in camera (in chambers) interviews conducted with the Shockome children on May 27, 2003 and January 22, 2004, neither child recalled any physical altercations between their parents, despite Genia’s claims that her children had witnessed Tim’s alleged violence against her. Moreover, neither child expressed any fear of Tim.

Genia’s only support for her contention that she had previously been battered came from the FFLM domestic violence advocates who testified in her trial. Yet none of these “experts” had ever spoken with Tim Shockome, and had no evidence of Tim’s abuse except for Genia’s assertions.

That’s just a small part of Glenn’s takedown of the Shockome case.  The rest is here.

So yes, Barry Goldstein is a true believer.  He’s such a true believer that he’s willing to lie multiple times under oath and elsewhere to promote the notion that men are abusers, women aren’t and parental alienation is a fiction. 

Now, prior to his five-year suspension, Barry Goldstein had never been the subject of any discipline by the New Jersey Bar.  That he should have received a five-year suspension trumpets one thing loudly and clearly: the Bar wanted him out.  His behavior had been so egregious that the grievance committee and the appellate court were resolved to be rid of him.

Not so Natalie Pattillo.  Goldstein is the type of person Natalie Pattillo cites as an authority on domestic violence and PA.  And that, more than anything, says all we need to know about her article and her ethics.

More on this next time.

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New York Review of Books Hits a New Low

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September 9, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

Sigh.  Another month, another article that claims that, as a general rule, family courts favor fathers over mothers, and particularly so in matters of domestic violence (New York Review of Books, 9/2/20).  We see these with some frequency.  Law professor Joan Meier has made a career out of exactly that, done her best to prove her point and failed.  But the latest yellow journalism appears in what was once a respectable publication, the New York Review of Books.

The NYRB article runs to type, i.e. pure agitprop.  The writer, Natalie Pattillo, has written pretty extensively and always in the same vein.  She’s a true believer in the Church of Men are Abusers and Women Aren’t.  Predictably, her article, when it locates facts at all, cites only dodgy ones, artfully leads readers to believe that which isn’t true, quotes only those who belong to the same Church regardless of how factually compromised they are and of course manages no balance whatsoever.  The piece is about 3,500 words long and in all those words, Pattillo offers not a single quotation from anyone with an opinion different from her own.  Needless to say, as in all such articles, many pertinent facts go unmentioned

Now, the supposed raison d’être for the piece is the impact on family courts of the pandemic and lockdown in New York City.  By itself, that could have been a worthwhile article.  After all, those courts are never models of efficiency and have probably become less so given the difficulties of virtual hearings.  But Pattillo’s real aim is to convince readers that the restrictions on the courts due to COVID-19 all redound to the detriment of mothers and especially those claiming abuse.  Remarkably, she produces literally no evidence for the proposition.  Her article is a classic example of throwing mud at a wall to see if any sticks.  None does.

As is usual with articles like this one, actual facts are in short supply.  So, for example, Pattillo makes this naked assertion:

Abusers often use their children as pawns to control and punish their exes, especially if they have custodial rights, Ruth Glenn, the president and CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, told me. 

Citation?  None.  Of course there are many pertinent facts which could have been mentioned.  For example, after decades of accumulating information about the value of fathers to children, nationally, 80% of sole/primary custody of children goes to mothers and about 12% to fathers.  Plus, over 50% of domestic violence is committed by women and about 70% is initiated by them.  More to the point, a child is twice as likely to be abused or neglected by their mother as by their father.  Those are all well-established facts that have appeared in national databases for many years.

But they obstruct the narrative Pattillo’s peddling and so receive no mention. 

What does make it into her piece are attempts to prejudice readers:

Family court has long left dangerous gaps in protection for survivors and children. In 2016, two-year-old Kyra Franchetti was killed by her biological father, Roy Eugene Rumsey, in a murder-suicide.

That is indeed an example of a heart-rending case.  But of course Pattillo was careful that the case she cited was one of a father as the wrongdoer.  There are plenty of similar cases in which a mother kills her children and sometimes herself in order to keep the kids from their father.  So why not mention one of those?  Because to do so would violate the catechism of the above-mentioned Church to which Pattillo and everyone she quotes is a devotee.

Then there’s the thoroughly outrageous claim that judges and pretty much everyone else in family courts expect more of mothers than of fathers.

These systemic flaws are intensified when judges, custody evaluators, and attorneys for the children bring their biases about what’s expected of a mother’s care, compared to a father’s, into custody cases involving domestic violence and child abuse.

Never mind the small avalanche of anecdotal evidence to the contrary.  Never mind the half-dozen or so studies finding anti-father bias on the part of judges.  If the above statement were at all valid, wouldn’t we be seeing fathers with the lion’s share of child custody?  Given how much parenting fathers now do, it’s simply not possible for everyone in family court to be biased in favor of fathers and against mothers and still, year in and year out for decades, give custody to mothers.  The basic facts of the matter scream that Pattillo’s claim is the fraud it is.

And what article of this ilk would be complete without a reverential reference to Joan Meier and her 2019 study of family court outcomes?  For that matter, would such an article let readers know the true findings of Meier’s study?

Mothers who raise claims of domestic or child abuse are twice as likely to lose custody when fathers respond by claiming “parental alienation” as when fathers don’t claim alienation, according to a study that examined close to 4,400 family court cases throughout the country from 2005 to 2015 by Joan Meier, a professor of clinical law at George Washington University, and others.

To the first clause of that statement, the appropriate rejoinder is “so what?”  After all, maybe it’s barely possible that, when fathers claim alienation, it’s actually happening and, if it is, the correct response by a judge is to remove the child from the alienator.  Amazingly, Pattillo is so devout in her belief that she never considers the possibility.  In her study, Meier nowhere claimed that the judges who did change custody based on a father’s claim of alienation did so wrongly.  She never even attempted to make those calls. 

Then there’s the merely misleading aspect of her Pattillo’s statement.  Yes, Meier did analyze a little under 4,400 family court cases, but Pattillo wants her readers to believe that all of those included dueling claims of abuse (by mothers) and parental alienation (by fathers).  Not so.  In fact, just 163 of those cases – 1.8% – contained those allegations and in just half of them was a change made to custody.

I’ll have more to say on this scurrilous article next time.

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Sweetness and Light in Australia’s Adoption Industry?

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September 4, 2020 by Robert Franklin, JD, Member, National Board of Directors

The article dealing with the changes to adoption law in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT) that was the subject of my previous piece treads oh so lightly on the topic of the business of adoption.  As I said last time, the writer, Jasper Lindell, didn’t manage to pick up the phone and talk to a single person who questions adoption.  Not one person and not one parent’s organization.  After all, to do so might have interfered with his sunny, anodyne view of the matter. 

Consider:

“Adoption is a service for a child to give them security and stability. It’s not about adults getting a child. It’s about providing a child with a home. Obviously, that works well for both sides, if that [process] works out well,” [Adopt Change Executive Director, Renee Carter] said.”

Well then, there’s nothing to worry about.  Since adoption is nothing but a benefit to kids, who could possibly complain?  But the speaker gives away the game in her very next sentence.  She tells readers that the new regime works well “for both sides.”  And who are those sides?  The child and the adoptive parents.

But wait.  Aren’t there more than just two sides?  What about the child’s biological parents?  What about adoption agencies?  What about child welfare agencies?  Yes, they’re all involved in the big business that is adoption, but the august Ms. Carter prefers not to mention them and Jasper Lidell happily follows suit.

The simple truth is far from anything hinted at in the article.  The whole purpose of the new law is to make adoptions quicker and easier.  As a practical matter, that means that more kids will be adopted, whether out of foster care or not, who don’t need to be adopted.  They don’t need adoption because they have fit parent who want them.  Is that really an issue?

Consider this quotation from this article (The Conversation, 4/5/18).

Adoptions are hard for good reasons. A sound, ethical process is necessary to ensure a child is legally and ethically available for adoption, consents are free from coercion, and parents are given adequate time to change their minds.

While Australia is bound by international conventions that protect human rights and those of children, there is no right to parent: 

And, as we know in the U.S. a “sound, ethical process” often is lacking in the adoption business.  Financial incentives urge adoption agencies to cut corners, to ignore fathers.  Those same incentives push child welfare agencies to force into care and then into adoption kids who need neither.  In Australia, as in the U.S. the adoption market is private and adoption agencies often for-profit concerns.

Plus, unlike in the U.S., and as the above quotation makes clear, “there is no right to parent.”  That’s true despite the fact that the all-important bond between biological parents and their children cannot be recreated by others.  Breaking that bond is invariably traumatic for children, so adoption must proceed, if at all, with the utmost care.  Yet that care has been lessened by the new law in the ACT.

Now, in Australia, no one tracks the welfare of adopted kids over a year past their adoption date.  Do they do well or ill?  How are their outcomes compared to kids who live with their biological parents?  No one knows.

Countries that report higher numbers of adoptions deal with countries that Australia does not – including countries that have not signed the Hague Convention. Among these, the US and Spain estimate high numbers of adoption breakdowns (“disruptions” are short term and “dissolutions” are complete breakdowns)…

Anecdotally, most adoptions in Australia are successful, but we do not know the true rate of breakdowns. Families are only followed up for one year after an adoption. But we do know there is insufficient support for families, foster families, adoptive families and adoptees. 

Every move to ease adoption places kids at risk.  It does so with the enthusiastic support of adults who have a pecuniary interest in the ease of adoption.  Jasper Lidell sees nothing amiss in that, and neither do his interviewees.  But ignoring the many darks sides of the adoption industry doesn’t mean all is sweetness and light.