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Fathers & Families News Digest

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families’ latest News Digest.

Larry David’s divorce mirrored on ‘Curb’ (Associated Press, 10-23-07)

More seniors consider divorce (The Korea Times, 10-23-07)

Divorce will put woman on stand at first-degree murder trial (Vancouver Sun, 10-23-07)

Center for Family Development serves in many ways (Shelbyville Times-Gazette, 10-24-07)

Domestic Violence Laws Require Reform, Groups Say (Hawaii Reporter, 10-24-07)

Divorce: a better way out of marriage (Telegraph, 10-24-07)

African American divorce rates outpace other races (Kansas City Call, 10-24-07)

Separating with civility (The Globe and Mail, 10-25-07)

Couple’s divorce experience helps others (SunHerald.com, 10-26-07)

Kansas high court rules against sperm donor (Kansas City Star, 10-26-07)

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Elian II Campaign Update: ‘Fathers’ rights group meets with DCF, Cuban Father’

Background: Last week I partnered with Dr. Ned Holstein and Fathers & Families in a campaign to protest Florida Department of Children & Families’ actions in the “Elian Gonzalez II” case in Miami. In that case, Rafael Izquierdo, a fit, loving father, has faced numerous obstacles to reunite with his 5-year-old daughter.

Thousands of you have answered our call to action, and the campaign has been covered or cited in hundreds of newspapers, including by the Associated Press, syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post Writers Group, Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Service, and over a dozen Florida newspapers. Florida DCF, to its credit, has agreed to meet with us. To learn more or to join our campaign, click here.

In our letters and faxes to Florida DCF we asked that they contact Dr. Holstein and meet with him to discuss the issues put forward in our protest. As the Miami Herald reports below, today that meeting occurred. In addition, Dr. Holstein met with embattled father Rafael Izquierdo. The article is Fathers’ rights group meets with Cuban dad (Miami Herald, 10/24/07).

According to the Herald:

“A national fathers’ rights group has taken on the cause of a Cuban father trying to gain custody of his daughter, an effort that included sit-downs with key players in the case Wednesday.

“Dr. Ned Holstein, president of the Boston-based nonprofit Fathers & Families, flew to Miami to meet with the father of the 5-year-old girl at the center of the dispute, Rafael Izquierdo.

“Holstein was also scheduled to meet with staffers at the Department of Children & Families Wednesday afternoon to ask them to drop their efforts to keep the girl in the United States.

”’We’ve been following this very closely,’ said Holstein, who said members and supporters of his group have sent more than 2,000 e-mails to Gov. Charlie Crist’s office and DCF in recent weeks.

”’I don’t think there’s bad faith here,” Holstein said. ‘But I think we’re involved in a culture in which a father is considered irrelevant’…

“Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge Jeri B. Cohen has ruled that Izquierdo is a fit parent. A second phase of the trial — to determine whether the girl will be harmed if removed from the Cubas home — is scheduled to begin Monday. Holstein, a physician who founded the nonprofit advocacy group following his own divorce, said he was impressed with Izquierdo’s ‘dedication to his daughter and determination to do the right thing.'”

Read the full article here.

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Fathers & Families News Digest

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families’ latest News Digest.

Larry David’s divorce mirrored on ‘Curb’ (Associated Press, 10-23-07)

More seniors consider divorce (The Korea Times, 10-23-07)

Divorce will put woman on stand at first-degree murder trial (Vancouver Sun, 10-23-07)

Center for Family Development serves in many ways (Shelbyville Times-Gazette, 10-24-07)

Domestic Violence Laws Require Reform, Groups Say (Hawaii Reporter, 10-24-07)

Divorce: a better way out of marriage (Telegraph, 10-24-07)

African American divorce rates outpace other races (Kansas City Call, 10-24-07)

Separating with civility (The Globe and Mail, 10-25-07)

Couple’s divorce experience helps others (SunHerald.com, 10-26-07)

Kansas high court rules against sperm donor (Kansas City Star, 10-26-07)

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New Column: From a Felony to a Phone Call: Texas Prop 13 Will Allow Innocent Men to Be Jailed Without Bail

My new co-authored column, From a Felony to a Phone Call: Texas Prop 13 Will Allow Innocent Men to Be Jailed Without Bail (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, Austin-American Statesman, 10/22/07), criticizes a Texas Proposition which has drawn the support of many state newspapers. The column appears below.

I co-authored the piece with Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children.

From a Felony to a Phone Call: Texas Prop 13 Will Allow Innocent Men to Be Jailed Without Bail

By Mike McCormick and Glenn Sacks

Texas voters will decide on November 6 whether to approve Proposition 13, a dangerous measure which will harm innocent men by greatly eroding the rights of those accused of domestic violence. The measure grants judges the ability to hold without bail those accused of nonviolent, trivial, or accidental violations of temporary restraining orders.

Under current Texas law, the only defendants ineligible for bail are those accused of capital crimes. In addition, judges are provided discretion to deny bail to those who have been both charged with a felony and convicted or indicted for a previous felony. To deny bail, there must be “evidence substantially showing the guilt of the accused.’

Prop 13 obliterates this, and opens the road for many innocent men to be held without bail. Like many states, Texas has adopted aggressive arrest procedures on domestic violence calls. The result has been that men are sometimes arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence based on thin evidence. After the arrest, Emergency Protective Orders are entered against the accused, typically barring him from going home or having any contact with his children. Fathers can violate the orders by innocent acts such as calling their own children, accidentally running into them and their mother in the mall, or going to their Little League games.

Under Prop 13, judges will have the power to incarcerate without bail men who violate their EPOs. Moreover, the Proposition lowers the evidence standard from Substantial Showing to Preponderance of the Evidence, which can rapidly degenerate into a “he said/she said’ contest that men usually lose.

Even worse, Prop 13 also encourages the legislature to pass a law which would allow fathers who violate temporary ex parte protective orders to be jailed without bail. Women can obtain these orders by claiming their male partners abused them, and the men are then booted out of their own homes without ever having a chance to defend themselves in court.

It is true that ex parte protective orders can be a useful tool to help protect battered women. However, as the Family Law News, the official publication of the State Bar of California Family Law Section, recently explained:

“Protective orders are increasingly being used in family law cases to help one side jockey for an advantage in child custody…[the orders are] almost routinely issued by the court in family law proceedings even when there is relatively meager evidence and usually without notice to the restrained person.’

These orders have become so commonplace that the Illinois Bar Journal calls them “part of the gamesmanship of divorce.’

Dallas/Ft. Worth criminal defense attorney Paul Stuckle explains:

“Judges pass out ex parte protective orders like Halloween candy. If judges read the estranged spouse’s affidavits, it is typically a cursory review. The judges are handed a stack of these ex parte applications when they arrive in the morning, and they usually just rubber stamp them. There is rarely any meaningful judicial review.”

According to the Texas House of Representatives” House Research Organization, Prop 13″s proponents claim that accused men “would retain all their rights to due process and other protections. For example, the determination to deny bail would have to be made at a hearing in which the defendant could appeal the denial of bond or make a case for another bond.’

This ignores the fact that protective orders–both the Emergency Protective Orders Prop. 13 will apply to or the ex parte protective orders Prop. 13 encourages the legislature to include–often seriously impair men”s ability to obtain legal representation and defend themselves. Protective orders make men homeless and can cut them off from their financial resources. In cases where they work with or near their wives, or operate businesses partly or wholly out of their homes, their incomes can disappear overnight. By contrast, women obtaining protective orders are afforded free legal services by victim advocates at local domestic violence shelters, and remain in the marital home.

The House Research Organization also states:

“The proposed amendment also could have unfair consequences relating to legislation enacted by the 80th Legislature – HB 1988 by Martinez – which allows some protective orders to be in effect for life. This could result in someone being denied bail for one mistake after years of following a protective order.’

Prop 13 is reflective of a dangerous legal trend. Laws and police policies for those accused of domestic violence have been made increasingly draconian, clogging court calendars with weak or evidence-free cases which, were it any other crime, wouldn”t even be acted upon. At the same time, the judicial system hasn”t devoted substantial additional time and resources to investigating and adjudicating domestic violence claims. The result is often assembly-line justice in Kangaroo Courts. Prop 13 will accentuate this trend, and victimize many innocent men and fathers.

This column first appeared in The Ft. Worth Star-Telegram and the Austin-American Statesman (10/22/07).

Mike McCormick is the Executive Director of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. Their website is www.acfc.org.

Glenn Sacks” columns on men’s and fathers’ issues have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United States. He invites readers to visit his website at www.GlennSacks.com

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Dad’s a Fool in Pizza Hut Commercial

In this Pizza Hut ad, mom and the kids are horrified that dad is going to make dinner, because, of course, he can’t cook and only hip, smart mommy knows how to take care of the kids and run things.

The commercial is supposed to be funny, and I suppose it would be if it weren’t the thousandth time I’ve seen the “dad as idiot” theme. Chris, the reader who sent this to me, asks, “Why are men always the butt of the joke?” and that’s about how I feel, too.

In the picture, the mother, who’s assigned the standard role of “yes kids, we know dad’s a fool but don’t say anything,” is shocked–shocked!–that hubby came up with a good dinner. A good dinner he bought at Pizza Hut, of course.

To watch the commercial, click here or see below. To watch some other videos of “dad as idiot” TV commercials, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, or just turn on your television for 75 seconds.

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z5fg1ajFGao]

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This Takes Being a Greedy Ex to a Whole New Level

“A man who was pardoned after spending 18 years behind bars for a rape he didn’t commit has been sued for back child support.“Dwayne Allen Dail, 39, was cleared in August of the 1987 rape of a 12-year-old Goldsboro girl. The girl identified him as her attacker and hair found at the scene was similar to his. But DNA evidence found on a fragment of the girl’s nightgown years after the trial proved Dail wasn’t involved in the attack.

“Gov. Mike Easley pardoned Dail two weeks ago, making him eligible to receive $360,000 from the state – $20,000 for each year he spent in prison.“Dail, who now lives in Florida, was served Tuesday with a lawsuit by Lorraine Michaels, the mother of his son, who is seeking back child support. The suit does not specify how much money she wants, as is normal in North Carolina, but asks a ‘reasonable sum for the care and maintenance of the minor child.’ Dail did not provide while he was in prison.“Dail said he was devastated by the suit. He said his son recently moved to Florida to live with him.

“Michaels’ attorney, Sarah Heekin, said she filed court papers last week.

“Heekin is in the same law office as Don Strickland, the former Wayne County assistant district attorney who prosecuted Dail for rape.”

The above is from Wrongly Convicted Man Sued for Child Support (10/23/07) from WRAL in North Carolina. A few comments and questions:

1) The man’s son–who is 17 and was born after he went to prison–is now living with him–why should Dail (pictured) owe the ex child support?

2) “Dail did not provide while he was in prison”–what a bastard. While he was behind bars for 18 years for a crime he didn’t commit, he didn’t pay out part of the zero income he earned in prison to pay child support.

3) Lorraine Michaels takes being a greedy, self-centered ex to a new level. Does she really think she deserves a cut of the chicken feed $20,000 a year Dail got for being wrongly imprisoned?

A few other facts about the case:

1) According to another WRAL article:

“[Before the trial] prosecutors offered Dail a plea deal under which he would plead no contest to charges of taking indecent liberties with a minor and receive only three years’ probation in return…

“During the trial’s closing arguments, [prosecutor] Strickland remarked on Dail’s remarkable confidence in his innocence in the face of such serious charges, Dail said.

“After being sentenced to two life sentences, plus 18 years, Dail continued to maintain his innocence from behind bars. His exoneration justified all that confidence, Dail said at his release…

“In the future, Dail said he may write a book or go to college. He’s also enjoying reconnecting with his 17-year-old son Chris Michaels, who was born after he went to prison.

“‘He’s grown up only seeing his father in prison, and that’s a terrible way for a kid to grow up,’ Dail said.

“‘It’s over, so we can now start spending more time together and getting to know each other a lot better,’ Michaels said.”

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Welcome Home, Soldier-Dad Comes Back from Army in Iraq to Visit His Daughters, Is Jailed for Child Support

Background: In my co-authored column, Servicemen victimized by child support system (World Net Daily, 6/27/07), I discuss the ways the child support enforcement system victimizes innocent citizens, particularly military personnel. I wrote:

“Many men – particularly those in the military – are targets of abusive child support enforcement practices. While states receive federal funds for every child support dollar they collect, there are scant penalties for abuses. As a result, enforcement agencies have little incentive to give targeted men due process, to fix mistakes, or to write off erroneously or unfairly accrued debt. Instead, the bureaucracy simply charges ahead in trying to collect as much as possible.”

I have also discussed how difficult it often is for deployed servicemen to litigate or resolve their divorce and child custody matters while they are overseas. In my co-authored column Protect Deployed Parents” Rights (Tucson Citizen & others, 11/9/06), I wrote:

“Divorced or separated military parents often lose custody of their children–and sometimes permanently forfeit any meaningful role in their lives–simply because they have served their country. Many married parents deploy overseas, never suspecting that their parenthood essentially ended the day they left home.”Here is another example of how our child support and family law system mistreats military fathers. In this case, a father serving with the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq comes back to the United States to visit his two daughters and ends up in jail for child support!Yes, he is behind on it–apparently because he was out of work for a while–but he has been paying child support directly out of his pay check each pay period. No, it doesn’t sound like this dad did everything right, but it doesn’t sound like he did much wrong either. It looks more like he was a victim of the child support system and his inability to fully litigate his divorce while overseas. Moreover, it sounds like this so-called “deadbeat dad” joined the Army and went to Iraq partly because he needed to earn money to help support his children. Now his short two-week visit home, in which he hoped to spend time with his two little daughters, has turned out so badly that he says he’s looking forward to going back to Iraq! Welcome home, soldier.

Here is another example of how our child support and family law system mistreats military fathers. In this case, a father serving with the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq comes back to the United States to visit his two daughters and ends up in jail for child support!Yes, he is behind on it–apparently because he was out of work for a while–but he has been paying child support directly out of his pay check each pay period. No, it doesn’t sound like this dad did everything right, but it doesn’t sound like he did much wrong either. It looks more like he was a victim of the child support system and his inability to fully litigate his divorce while overseas. Moreover, it sounds like this so-called “deadbeat dad” joined the Army and went to Iraq partly because he needed to earn money to help support his children. Now his short two-week visit home, in which he hoped to spend time with his two little daughters, has turned out so badly that he says he’s looking forward to going back to Iraq! Welcome home, soldier.

Thanks to Mark, a reader, for sending me the story.

Local GI sent to jail
Oneonta Daily Star (10/23/07)
By Jake Palmateer
Staff Writer

COOPERSTOWN _ A soldier from Oneonta on leave from Iraq said Monday he can’t wait to return.
Aaron O’Connor, serving with the 3rd Infantry Division, had 15 days back in the United States and said he intended to take care of personal business at Fort Stewart, Ga., as well as get his divorce finalized in Cooperstown.

He said he also hoped to spend time with his two daughters.

His ex-wife, Christina O’Connor, has full custody of their 8-year-old and 4-year-old daughters.

What he said he didn’t count on was spending a night in Otsego County jail on a contempt-of-court warrant issued in January relating to not paying child and spousal support. That warrant is based on a Dec. 13, 2006, judgment by Otsego County Family Court Judge Brian Burns that ordered O’Connor to a six-month commitment to jail unless he remained current on his support payments for 12 months and paid all medical and dental bills for the children.

O’Connor said he was arrested on that warrant Friday while in Cooperstown to finalize his divorce. The arrest, he said, came as a shock because he has had his child and spousal support payments automatically deducted from his Army pay. He was released for the weekend to see his daughters but was ordered to report back to the jail Sunday night.

After a family court appearance Monday, O’Connor, 30, said he was released from jail after paying $378, including money for an eye appointment and glasses for one of his two daughters.

“I just spent time in jail for under $400,” O’Connor said from a cell phone as he drove with his girlfriend to Dulles International Airport near Washington, D.C. “This never should have happened.”

From Dulles, O’Connor will fly to Atlanta and then to Kuwait. After that, he said, his next stop is Camp Korean Village in Ar Rutba, Iraq.

A former Marine, O’Conner joined the Army last fall with the rank of sergeant and shipped out to Iraq in January.

“I don’t like being away from my daughters. But it pays. It’s what I know. It’s what I do,” O’Connor said.

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Miami Herald Columnist Ana Menendez on ‘Elian II’: ‘The girl belongs with her father’

Miami Herald columnist Ana Menendez discusses the “Elian Gonzalez II” campaign in her column Cuban girl’s case is part of the larger story (Miami Herald, 9/23/07). Menendez, whose parents are Cuban immigrants, writes:

“I believe the girl belongs with her father, Rafael. I believe children should be raised by their parents.”

This week I partnered with Dr. Ned Holstein and Fathers & Families in a campaign to protest this injustice. Thousands of you have answered our call to action, the campaign has been covered by the Associated Press, syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post Writers Group, Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Service, and over a dozen Florida newspapers. Florida DCF, to their credit, has agreed to meet with us. To learn more or to join our campaign, click here.

Read Menendez’s full column here.

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Curt Schilling: ‘My Father Was the Glue That Held My Family Together’

Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling (pictured), though almost 41 years-old and with a history of injuries, has come through for the Red Sox again so far this postseason.

With the Red Sox facing elimination in Game 6 of the American League Championship Series, Schilling beat the Indians, allowing only two runs in seven innings. He also shut out the Angels for seven innings in Game 3 of the American League Division Series, much to the consternation of my father, a big Angels’ fan, and myself. For several innings it looked like the Angels would get to Schilling, but he always avoided the knockout punch.

Curt Schilling was very close to his father, and was devastated when his father died in January 1988. Later that year, Schilling made the major leagues, but his father had not lived to see it. Schilling told ESPN:

“My father was the glue that held us together. When he died, I kind of lost my family.”

According to an entry on http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/, in a July 2005 interview, “Schilling revealed that in every difficult situation in life, he first asks what his father would have expected of him. In every game he starts, Curt reserves a seat for his father.”

The website adds:

“Schilling was very close to his father, the dominant influence in his life. His father helped him believe in himself, but also taught him about discipline and duty. Curt”s father died of lung cancer shortly before Curt made it to the Major Leagues. Curt’s behavior became erratic and unfocused, threatening his major league career, until a father figure, veteran Roger Clemens, took him aside and told him he was wasting his talent. Schilling then got serious about his career and became a dominant pitcher.”

In 2004, Schilling pitched for the Red Sox in the World Series, despite having a very painful ankle injury. The injury even bled during the game, but Schilling was effective, and the Red Sox won the World Series. The next year, Schilling had problems because of painful injuries and, being a very competitive athlete, was very upset over his situation. At the time, Schilling’s wife commented to the media on how badly Schilling missed his father, and wished he were there to help him during this difficult time. It was quite a testament to the bond Schilling shared with his father–17 years after his father’s death, Schilling still looked to him for help in a crisis.

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Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson Cites Importance of Fathers, Implies Dads Are to Blame for Family Breakdown in FOX Debate

During last night’s Republican presidential debate on FOX News, candidate Fred Thompson (pictured) cited family breakdown and the importance of fathers raising their children as being key to the well-being and education of America’s youth. Unfortunately, he also implied that family breakdown was caused simply by fathers “not staying and raising their kids.”

To watch Thompson’s comments, click here and scroll until there’s about 2:45 left.

Thanks to Kimberly, a reader, for sending it.