Category: NPO in the media

December 14, 2009

Fathers & Families‘ Dr. Ned Holstein discussed the need for family court reform and the importance of fathers in his recent appearance on the nationally-syndicated Eagle Forum radio show. Audio of the show is available:

Listen to Part I Listen to Part II

July 17, 2009

Fathers and Families‘ Ned Holstein, MD discussed the murder of former NFL star Steve McNair at the hands of his 20-year-old girlfriend on the BJ Shea Morning Experience on 99.9 KISW in Seattle (7/16/09). To listen to the audio of his appearance, click here.

Holstein and I recently co-authored a piece about the McNair murder–McNair Was a Victim of Domestic Violence (Washington Times, 7/14/09, Baltimore Sun, 7/16/09).

July 10, 2009

Fathers and Families‘ Ned Holstein, MD discussed the murder of former NFL star Steve McNair at the hands of his 20-year-old girlfriend on the Afternoon News on KFBK AM 1530 in Sacramento (7/9/09). To listen to the audio of his appearance, click here.

Holstein, MD, a public health specialist, also discussed the case on the Kevin Wall Show on KTSA AM 550 in San Antonio, Texas (7/9/09).

Holstein pointed out that while there are over 10,000 media entries on Google News for “Steve McNair,” hardly one of them is paired with the phrase “domestic violence.”

Wall was sympathetic and asked Holstein why men hesitate to report domestic violence. Holstein explained that they are afraid of the impact a split could have on their kids, are afraid the police will arrest them, and are also ashamed and embarrassed.

Holstein also discussed the McNair murder on the BJ Shea Morning Experience on 99.9 KISW in Seattle, the ‘X” Zone on the Talk Star Radio Network, the Eddie Fingers & Tracy Jones Show on 700 WLW in Cincinnati, and the Scott Sloan Show on 700 WLW in Cincinnati (7/13/09).

Holstein says:

As a result of the tendency to ignore domestic violence by women, many children are placed in the custody of violent mothers instead of non-violent, fit fathers. Yet research shows that women’s violence, like men”s, is tightly correlated with family violence injury risks to all parties– including children. Ignoring female-on-male violence undermines efforts to raise children in violence-free homes.

Holstein, MD adds:

Many commentators are criticizing McNair because his murder revealed that he was apparently having an extramarital affair. This is another double-standard on men & DV–it”s very hard to imagine the media criticizing a married woman who was gunned down by her boyfriend.

July 3, 2009

I discussed the “He-cession” and Reihan Salam’s controversial article The Death of Macho (Foreign Policy, 7/2/09) on KGO AM 810 in San Francisco Thursday. An interview with Salam which was used as a set-up for my interview talked a lot about “Macho Men” (even playing the Village People’s “Macho Man” in the background.)

Salam spoke of the male blue-collar workers displaced by the recession as if they’re privileged males who finally (and deservedly) have been knocked down a peg or two by the economic crisis. In his article, Salam wrote:

[In recent years male-dominated governments] acted to artificially prop up macho.

One such example is the housing bubble…in the United States, the booming construction sector generated relatively high-paying jobs for the relatively less-skilled men who made up 97.5 percent of its workforce–$814 a week on average.

By contrast, female-dominated jobs in healthcare support pay $510 a week, while retail jobs pay about $690 weekly. The housing bubble created nearly 3 million more jobs in residential construction than would have existed otherwise…

These handsome construction wages allowed men to maintain an economic edge over women…subsidizing macho had all kinds of benefits, and to puncture the housing bubble would have been political suicide.

I told KGO that blue-collar breadwinner males aren’t “macho men” or privileged, powerful men, but instead men who are sacrificing by doing hard labor so they can better provide for their wives and children. Salam implies that the men were being artificially subsidized and that they weren’t deserving of the better wages they earned compared to “female-dominated jobs in healthcare [and] retail.” I explained:

Construction workers earn more because their work is dangerous–I’ve been a construction worker, and I know. If you want someone to do hard, dangerous labor, you need to pay them more to do it, regardless of gender or any other factor.

KGO’s Rosie Allen asked me about men being willing to “accept” not being breadwinners. I replied:

Men being valued as breadwinners isn’t some conspiracy men dreamed up to keep themselves in power. Ask the average guy working long hours to provide for his family if he feels “privileged” and I doubt he’ll answer “yes.”

Gender roles have been converging and this economic crisis is speeding up the process. I’m not a particular proponent of the male breadwinner model, but if we’re going to convert from that model to the dual earner / dual caregiver of children model, it will require some changes from women, too.

We always talk about how men have to change, but women will have to change what they value in men. I’ve been a successful professional and I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, and there’s one thing I can tell you without a doubt—men who aren’t capable of earning a living aren’t respected, either by men or by women.

When I was asked about inequalities and discrimination harming women, I replied:

If we’re going to talk about inequality and gender, let’s start with what is by far the greatest gender inequality in our society—the way mothers are favored over fathers in child custody. Millions of men were good fathers and thought they were good husbands, but as soon as their wives decided they didn’t want them around anymore, their role in their children’s lives was drastically reduced if not terminated.

I don’t see it as a discrimination issue in particular, since I see it above all as a children’s issue—children’s right to have their relationships with both parents protected after a  divorce or separation. But if you want to talk about gender inequality / discrimination, the line starts with child custody.

June 20, 2009

Fathers & Families” founder Dr. Ned Holstein appeared on the Samantha Clemens Show on Sporting News Radio AM 1510 The Zone in Boston on June 20. Holstein asserted that equal treatment for fathers in family court is the most important solution to the problem of fatherlessness. It doesn’t cure the problem if the dad is truly irresponsible, but it’s the best place to start. Holstein also criticized Obama’s new Father’s Day speech, saying “Dads don”t want to be chastised on Fathers Day–save it for another day.” Holstein explained that “Responsible Fatherhood” programs Obama supports won’t be truly effective until fathers are treated fairly and equally in family court–a formerly irresponsible dad can be spiritually transformed but still locked out of this children’s lives. One of the callers was a likeable dad who was refused shared physical custody, then suffered a move-away and Parental Alienation–a dad with a lot of pain, kids with pain who cannot be heard, and a court system that is empowering a mother to carry out her worst, vindictive impulses. The solution for the kids? Fairness and equality for fathers.

May 18, 2009

David Yas, the publisher of the Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly and other legal publications, quoted Fathers & Families’ Ned Holstein MD, MS on restraining orders in his recent column “Domestic violence: out of the frying pan” (5/4/09).

In the article, which is only available to subscribers, Yas revealed that he is unfamiliar with domestic violence research and was skeptical about what researchers have overwhelmingly concluded–women are at least as likely to attack their male significant others as vice versa, and women’s (and men’s) domestic violence is generally not in self-defense.

Yas also seemed to confuse Holstein’s correct assertion that women commit at least as much DV as men with the impression that men suffer from DV as much as women. This is not true–about a third of domestic violence injuries are suffered by men. Women balance the scales through use of weapons and the element of surprise, but as a whole they still sustain more injuries.

Yas quoted Lydia Watts, executive director of the Victim Rights Law Center, as saying there is no epidemic of women fabricating tales of domestic violence–“I have heard thousands of victims’ stories and barely ever doubted one.” Of course, the fact that an ardent domestic violence advocate “barely ever doubted one” is very much a symptom of the problem–women are believed, no matter how weak the evidence and how much advantage they may stand to gain from lying.

Holstein’s response to Yas was published in the Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly–“Chairman of fathers” group seeks to set record straight” (5/18/09). Holstein wrote:

In his May 4 column, “Domestic violence: out of the frying pan …,” David Yas deserves credit for opening up the topic of domestic violence, but he misses some key points.

First, Fathers & Families is not a “fatherhood rights group.” We do not support any special rights for fathers. We explicitly endorse gender equality in all aspects of public life and have also supported the parenting rights of non-biological lesbian moms. Thus, it is hard to figure out how Yas gets to “Ureneck and Holstein … may even be downright sexist.”

Yas repeatedly associates me with statements by Joseph Ureneck and Mark Charalambous, with which I disagree.

Yas does not seem to understand why Fathers & Families cares about domestic violence law. The reason is that we are fit and loving fathers, and we simply want to be allowed to continue our loving relationships with our children after separation or divorce. Restraining orders are being used to keep more and more innocent men away from their children.

Yas does not seem to understand why civil libertarians should be alarmed by domestic violence law. A criminal act – domestic violence – is relabeled a civil offense, thereby stripping the defendant of all the protections available to criminal defendants. The “defendant” is summarily “convicted” and then pays a fearsome price: instant eviction, loss of access to and control of his assets, and enforced separation from his children.

Every judge or attorney I have ever asked confidentially estimates the rate of false allegations of domestic violence at 20 to 80 percent where a home, child support or custody of children is at stake, yet almost all allegations are endorsed by the courts. It was in this context that I told Yas that “we will look back on this as an embarrassing era,” reminiscent of the McCarthy years.

I am not alone in my concern. Many prominent family law professionals have expressed similar concerns, including Elaine Epstein, former president of the Massachusetts Bar Association, the Family Law Section of the California bar and the Illinois Bar Journal.

Yas mistakenly implies that Fathers & Families opposed the appointments of judges Laurie MacLeod and Sydney Hanlon. We did not. We lacked reliable information about how Hanlon conducted her domestic violence special court. But, in general, such courts have not shown excessive regard for civil liberties and due process. If this has been true of Hanlon, then civil libertarians have much to fear from her appointment to the Appeals Court, where she will rule on many kinds of civil liberties, not just those involved in domestic violence cases.

Lastly, as a specialist in public health and a former academic researcher at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, I am well versed in domestic violence research. It shows that perpetration by men and women is about equal, and that one-third of the significant injuries are sustained by men. Readers can look for themselves at 247 scholarly investigations at http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm. After looking at this bibliography, readers will disagree that my views “simply defy reason.”

To write a Letter to the Editor of the Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, write to Henriette Campagne at henriette.campagne@lawyersweekly.com. Please keep the letters short and to the point.