NPO Blog Archive

Charleston, WV–Perhaps they could also give away free therapy to the kids who are harmed by the divorce, and quite possibly separated from their father…

Thanks to David, a reader, for the story.

Radio station giving away free divorce

CHARLESTON, W.Va. – A Charleston radio station is observing Valentine’s Day with a reminder that Cupid sometimes misses his mark.

WKLC-FM, better known as Rock 105, is giving away a free divorce.

Valentine’s Day isn’t all hearts and flowers, says WKLC Program Director Jay Nunley. There is a darker side, he said, “where maybe you despise your spouse and resent the entire day.”

Through 4 p.m. on Thursday, Valentine’s Day, applications for the free divorce will be accepted on the classic rock station’s Web site, http://www.wklc.com. The winning name will be drawn at 5 p.m.

Nunley cautions that this is a real divorce and people shouldn’t enter if they aren’t serious. Also, people expecting a long, drawn-out legal battle should hire a lawyer because the Rock 105 contest is for a relatively uncomplicated divorce.

Charleston attorney Rusty Webb will handle the actual filing.

“Sure we can give away concert tickets, and we do,” said Nunley. “That’s going to make you happy for a little while. This is the chance to make someone happy for the rest of their life.”

Los Angeles, CA–D.M., a founding father of the private child support industry, often posts on my blog. He recently sent me a description of his experiences which he would like my readers to see.

Private Child Support Industry Leader’s Perspective for GlennSacks.com Readers

A few years ago I retired after spending about over a decade in the child support industry, being one of the founding fathers of the private child support industry. That of course makes me an instant enemy of your contributors, and few, if any, would really care what I think or believe.

At one point, we audited all of our active cases – something like 475 at the time. The “average” child support obligation was $250 per month for one child, $350 for two children. Hardly excessive by any means.

The average arrearage was in excess of $8,000 before interest was added.

63% of our clients had not remarried. 74% of the NCP’s had remarried.

17% of the NCPs that we were able to contact, claimed that they were not paying because they were being denied visitation. In less than 1% of the cases this was true. With the remaining 16% we facilitated visitation again. The longest that the visitation lasted was 4.7 months. In every case, the NCP quit the visitation because it was too much of a burden on him.

Overall, our successful collection rate was in the neighborhood of 83%. The unsuccessful collections were people that we couldn’t find or who simply would not pay no matter what. All that we were able to secure collections from – 83% – were able to pay at least the minimum amount. What precluded them paying more was other financial obligations. Of course, it should also be noted that 93% of these people all had bad credit, primarily from defaulting on things like telephones, rent, cars, trucks, etc. From a credit standpoint, they were simply irresponsible. Their job histories also demonstrated that. Many would quit a job when the wage withholding orders were being honored. Certainly not “deadbroke” as some activists claim.

John Murtari, for example, claims to be broke – and that he can’t afford to pay child support. Of course, his life style would indicate otherwise – his frequent trips for visitation, one trip to Italy, taking his mother for visitation, and paying himself as owner of a company less than his employees. His one minor redeeming quality is that he does at least, pay $50 a month in child support. Does he have an excuse for not paying child support? Yes, a very weak one. What weakens his position is that he could make an effort and pay both child support and visit his son. What further weakens his position is that he is once again in jail, because of his frequent attempts to “force” Senator Clinton to meet with him and his “group” which seemingly only exists on paper / Internet.

Murtari will be in jail until his trial on 31 March. As is his style, which does fall into what I consider “deadbeat mentality,” he wants the court to move up his trial date so he can see his son for spring break. Everyone should make sacrifices for him, and of course the argument is that it would be in the best interests of his son, but he is unwilling to make any sacrifices.

The statistics that we evaluated are by no means indicative of a national picture. We did not accept cases of welfare recipients, unless the amount owed was very small. The reason was two fold: (1) economical – we could not charge for collections that went to the state and (2) if the mother was on welfare, typically, though by no means all cases, the father would be basically broke himself due to socio-economic situations. However, other private agencies that we spoke to were reporting similar experiences and statistics.

No one knows if shared custody would have alleviated the problems. It probably would not have due to the personalities of the parents. But, there is no way to know that because we were looking at people after the fact, and when a significant amount of money was at stake.

Tampa, FL–In watching this video it’s hard to believe you’re seeing what you’re seeing. The video is here. The story from Tampa Bay 10 News is below. Notice how the man is caught completely by surprise.

It really makes you wonder about police culture when you see this woman’s outrageous behavior and then see another cop laughing as he walks by.

No, it’s not a gender issue, but I do think it’s far less likely that they would have treated a crippled woman this way.

Thanks to the various readers who sent it to me.

Deputy now suspended after dumping man from wheelchair
By: Mike Deeson

Tampa, Florida – The Hillsborough Co. Sheriff’s Office held a press conference at 10:30am regarding the deputy who can be seen on video dumping a man in a wheelchair onto the ground.

They’ve announced that Deputy Charlette Jones has been relieved of her duties without pay pending the outcome of an investigation. She has not officially been terminated.

Jones has been employed by the Hillsborough Co. Sheriff’s Office since 1996.

Chief Deputy Joe Docobo watched the video for the first time last night and said he found himself in “disgust” and was “appalled at every level.”

Docobo also announced that two corporals and a sergeant involved are now on administrative leave with pay, and the jail supervisor on duty did not have knowledge of the incident.

Brian Sterner broke his neck almost 14 years ago and is a quadriplegic.

Sterner, who can drive, was arrested on a traffic violation. When he was booked into the Orient Road Jail last month, Sterner couldn”t believe what happened.
He says a deputy looked at him and didn”t believe he was a quadriplegic. She walked behind him, took the handles on the back of the hospital-grade wheel chair and dumped it forward.

Sterner says he tried to roll as he was going down, but hit so hard he thought he had broken two ribs. Then, while he was on the floor, deputies frisked him and tried to get him back into the chair.

Sterner says he told them how to pick him up and put him back into the chair, but because he can”t feel anything from his breastbone down, he says he was injured and didn”t know it. Sterner thought he had broken two ribs, but jail x-rays showed that wasn’t true.

Read the full article here.

Los Angeles, CA–“As a child I grew up watching my mother commit multiple acts of violence against my dad. The earliest incident I remember occurred when I was four, and my mother continued to be violent up until April of 2003.

“No one would help. Teachers, parents of friends, anyone I tried to talk to about what was going on at home basically told me I didn’t understand, and that my mother couldn’t possibly be the violent party. The few times the police came to our home, they would always be ready to arrest my father, sometimes getting so far as to put the handcuffs on him, and it was up to me to scream as loud as possible that it was my mommy and not my daddy so they wouldn’t take him away and leave me with her.”

In writing my recent blog post Cops Mistake Wife’s Allergic Reaction for Abuse, Draw Guns on Helping Husband–where cops were so convinced that a loving father was a DV perp that they wouldn’t listen to the man’s adult daughter–I was reminded of the Maegan Woods (aka Maegan Black) case. In my co-authored column Domestic Violence Lawsuit Will Help Secure Services for All Abuse Victims (Los Angeles Daily Journal, 12/28/05), Marc Angelucci and I wrote:

“At the age of 11, Maegan Woods tried to stop a domestic dispute between her parents. She soon found herself staring down the barrel of her father’s shotgun. She watched helplessly as the trigger was pulled. She is only alive today because the gun didn’t fire–the safety was on.

“Maegan was abused and witnessed domestic violence in her home for most of her childhood. By age seven there had been knife attacks, punches, kicks, and more. It was hard to leave–the abuser was the one who earned the money, and the victim was unable to work because of a disability. On numerous occasions they looked for help to escape the abuse but were refused. Why?

“Because in Maegan’s family, the abused spouse was her father, and the battering and child abuse were perpetrated by her mother…

“The anti-male bias of police policies was evident in the Woods case. During the 1995 shotgun incident, Ruth called the police after David wrestled the shotgun away from her. Maegan yelled to her mom, ‘Tell the truth!’ and Ruth told the police she wanted them to come because she wanted to kill her husband.

“Nevertheless, when the police arrived and David opened the door to let them in, the officers immediately grabbed him by the wrist, wrestled him to the ground, and handcuffed him. They only uncuffed him after Maegan told them that it was her mother who had the gun.”

Maegan later wrote:

“As a child I grew up watching my mother commit multiple acts of violence against my dad. The earliest incident I remember occurred when I was four, and my mother continued to be violent up until April of 2003.

“No one would help. Teachers, parents of friends, anyone I tried to talk to about what was going on at home basically told me I didn’t understand, and that my mother couldn’t possibly be the violent party. The few times the police came to our home, they would always be ready to arrest my father, sometimes getting so far as to put the handcuffs on him, and it was up to me to scream as loud as possible that it was my mommy and not my daddy so they wouldn’t take him away and leave me with her.

“Sometimes when my mom would attack, Pops would try to defend himself, just to get her off him, stop hitting him, whatever. Every time he defended himself, whether he left bruises or not, Mom would go get a restraining order. She didn’t have to show bruises or prove she was in danger or anything, just saying she was ‘afraid’ was enough.

“I grew up in this sort of environment and I learned the only way to survive was to watch every argument they had and be ready to interject myself as a distraction if I could before violence happened. I grew up paranoid and feeling like the safety in my house was something only I was responsible for. If Mom became violent, it meant I FAILED. That feeling would hit me like a bucket of cold water, but there wouldn’t be any time for feeling sorry for myself. My next task was to try to break it up, screaming, threatening, pleading, whatever. I had to make sure no details escaped me because if the cops got called they’d just believe my mom without question, and it was MY job to make sure the truth at least got heard.”

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families’ latest News Digest.The path to an amicable divorce (Times Online, 2-13-08)

Radio station giving away free divorce (Associated Press, 2-13-08)

Valentine’s Day is a big day for divorce in the Valley (Arizona Republic, 2-13-08)

Bill to allow same-sex divorce to be introduced (Providence Journal, 2-14-08)

“Most Wanted” billboards lead to arrests of parents not paying child support (The Plain Dealer, 2-14-08)

Custody case: dogs in middle (Tulsa World, 2-15-08)

‘After divorce I wanted to die’ (The Sun, 2-15-08)

Judge: Tell Winkler about kids’ trust (Jackson Sun, 2-16-08)

Officials go on deadbeat search twice a year (Lancaster Eagle-Gazette, 2-17-08)

Fur flies over dog custody (New York Daily News, 2-18-08)

Southern Pines N.C.

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families’ latest News Digest.

‘Most Wanted’ father fights for custody (Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 2-8-08)

Divorce anyone? Some are having their cake and eating it too (TampaBay10.com, 2-7-08)

LEGIS: Divorce requirement proposed (Associated Press, 2-7-08)

Slain dentist’s wife is charged with murder and conspiracy (New York Times, 2-8-08)

Va. sues Texas collection agency over child support payments (The Virginian-Pilot, 2-9-08)

Un-tying the knot (CBSnews.com, 2-10-08)

After divorce what to do with the ring (San Francisco Chronicle, 2-10-08)

NB introduces new child support collection measures (CBC New Brunswick, 2-11-08)

Mills will claim McCartney turned violent after binges (News.com.au, 2-11-08)

‘Poppa too’: Author shares painful true story of his fight for his daughter (FOXbusiness, 2-5-08)

…Domestic Violence.

Pierre, SD–In the article below, South Dakota legislators propose a 90 day waiting period for divorce filings so spouses from other states can’t skip off to South Dakota, file for divorce, and force the estranged spouse to suffer the disadvantage and expense of having to contest the divorce from out-of-state.

It’s an eminently reasonable argument but what does the opposition say? The South Dakota Advocacy Network for Women says that the proposed waiting period would endanger women who flee to South Dakota to escape abusive husbands. So basically women should be permitted to use this scam, because a tiny percentage of them might be fleeing abuse. (And by the way, the women could just get a Protection Order without the divorce anyway).

This is yet another example of why the fatherhood movement needs to confront the domestic violence issue and the misleading, anti-male claims of the domestic violence establishment.

(It’s also an example of why the California Alliance for Families and Children’s February 15/16 conference–“From Ideology to Inclusion: Evidence-Based Policy and Intervention in Domestic Violence” is so important. Dozens of leading authorities in the domestic violence field are challenging the entrenched domestic violence system. They are advocating for non-discriminatory and evidence-based policies, and seek to correct the many damaging laws and policies which have been based on misleading claims. To learn more, click here.)

The article is below. The bill did get out of committee, barely.

Divorce requirement proposed
Associated Press
February 7, 2008

PIERRE – State law contains no minimum length of residency to file for divorce in South Dakota, but that may change.

A bill sent 7-6 Wednesday to the House floor by the Judiciary Committee would not permit people to start divorce proceedings until they have lived in the state for at least 90 days.

Rep. Richard Engels, D-Hartford, said the absence of any waiting period allows nonresidents to come into the state and immediately file for divorce. He said that is unfair because it forces estranged husbands and wives in other states to bear the expense and inconvenience of going through the legal proceeding in South Dakota.

South Dakota once had a one-year residency requirement before people could file for divorce, but the Legislature eliminated the waiting period after a federal court ruled several years ago that a waiting period was unconstitutional, Engels said.

That ruling was later overturned, but the state did not reinstate a new residency requirement, he said.

“Is it fair for someone to move to South Dakota from another state and file for divorce the same day?’ he asked.

HB1157 should not be passed, said Caitlin Collier, lobbyist for the South Dakota Advocacy Network for Women. She said the proposed waiting period would endanger women who flee to South Dakota to escape abusive husbands.

“This would remove a potential haven for battered women,’ Collier warned. “You are putting women at risk.’

Women should not have to hide for 90 days before they can start divorce proceedings, she said. Collier explained that an automatic restraining order kicks in when people file for divorce.

Engels said the legislation also would change state law so divorce cases that are filed in South Dakota can continue in South Dakota even if people who file the cases move to other states. When that happens, those people now must meet the minimum residency requirements in the new states before they can refile for divorce, he said.

Keeping jurisdiction for divorce cases in South Dakota would be especially helpful to those who live near the state”s borders and move just across the border to another state and to military personnel who may be transferred out of state, Engels said.

[Note: If you or someone you love is being abused, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families.]