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‘I volunteer at their school in the hope that I will have a passing encounter with them, just to see them smile and give them a hug’

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Fathers and Families member Michael Burgraff testifying in favor of H02684.
Fathers and Families activists testified in favor of our shared parenting bill (H02684) last Wednesday. The bill, lead sponsored by Representative John Scibak, supports children and strengthens families by creating a rebuttable presumption of shared parenting in divorce cases, so that children can sustain their loving relationships with both parents.
Fathers and Families member Michael Burgraff (pictured) gave powerful testimony in favor of H02684. Burgraff said:

I see my children every other weekend and one night a week for 3 hours after school.  Does anyone believe that this is sufficient?  All the minutia that make up a life are missing from this arrangement.  My children are hurt by this, I am hurt by this. I volunteer at their school in the hope that I will have a passing encounter with them, just to see them smile and give them a hug.  I have to think outside the box I”ve been relegated to during the long periods of time when I neither hear from them nor see them.  I pass their empty bedroom at night and my heart bleeds. All I have ever wanted was to share my children.  I am a loving father who has a lot to offer.  Children need both parents to share their lives.  A weekend dad misses out on so much, and the children suffer for it. Of all the job titles I have, I”m most proud of the title “Parent’.

Burgraff also wrote a letter to Massachusetts legislators in which he wrote “The sadness in my girls’ eyes when they ask if they can stay with me overnight and I have to tell them ‘no’ is heartbreaking to all of us.” Burgraff’s full testimony is below, along with his letter to Massachusetts legislators. To read others’ testimony, click here. To learn more about H02684, see our campaign page, click here. Michael Burgraff ‘s Testimony in Favor of H02684 Ladies and Gentleman, My name is Michael Burgraff and I would like to ask you to support shared parenting in the Commonwealth.  It is in our common interest to give the children of this state the benefit of deep and meaningful relationships with both their parents. When we were children, we were taught to share.  As male parents we are forced to accept a bit part in our children”s lives.  This is unacceptable. Children need both their parents.  Common sense tells us that if both parents are available and willing to parent their children, they are obligated to do so.  Beyond obligation is a desire to share our children”s lives. I see my children every other weekend and one night a week for 3 hours after school.  Does anyone believe that this is sufficient?  All the minutia that make up a life are missing from this arrangement.  My children are hurt by this, I am hurt by this. I volunteer at their school in the hope that I will have a passing encounter with them, just to see them smile and give them a hug.  I have to think outside the box I”ve been relegated to during the long periods of time when I neither hear from them nor see them.  I pass their empty bedroom at night and my heart bleeds. All I have ever wanted was to share my children.  I am a loving father who has a lot to offer.  Children need both parents to share their lives.  A weekend dad misses out on so much, and the children suffer for it. Of all the job titles I have, I”m most proud of the title “Parent’.  It is the most fulfilling and rewarding job a person can have. Michael Burgraff ‘s Letter to Legislators in Favor of H02684 I would like to ask your support for shared parenting in Massachusetts. As a parent of two young children, I have very personal experience with the subject. I love my girls dearly and all I want is to spend more time with them and they also would like to spend more quality time with their father. Our pleas have gone unanswered, The children have no voice at all. Visitation every other weekend and a dinner visit one day a week causes stress and anxiety for both children and their parents and is unsatisfactory for a loving relationship. The sadness in my girls’ eyes when they ask if they can stay with me overnight and I have to tell them no is heartbreaking to all of us. I volunteer at their school in the hope that I will have a passing encounter with them just to see their smiles during the long spaces of time when I neither hear from them or see them. I pass their empty bedroom every night and my heart bleeds. All I ever wanted was to share my children. I am a loving father who has a lot to offer. The most important job a person can have is to raise their children, instilling in them values and kindness. Children need both of their parents in their lives, sharing their ups and downs, their homework and school projects, the daily minutia that make up a life. A weekend dad misses out on so much, and the children suffer for it.

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