‘I didn’t want a dad in the child’s life…I’m not denying my children anything’

Background: The issue of Single Motherhood by Choice has been getting a good deal of press lately. For some examples, see There’s no shame in going solo, says mum (Guardian Unlimited, UK, 11/4/07) and Knocking Yourself Up–The ongoing debate over going it alone (Newsweek, 11/5/07). To watch me debate Single Motherhood by Choice on Fox’s nationally-syndicated Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, click here. To learn more about Single Motherhood by Choice,
click here. To learn more about what research says about the importance of fathers, see my co-authored columns Why Dads Matter (Houston Chronicle, 6/18/06) and Tyler Perry”s Daddy”s Little Girls Tells an Important Truth About African-American Fathers (Los Angeles Watts Times, 6/14/07). Australian Single Mother by Choice Clare Edwards has one child via a sperm donor and says she wants to have 10 more. When asked if it is right to inflict fatherlessness on her present and future offspring, she says: “I didn’t want a dad in the child’s life…I’m not denying my children anything.” This TV report explains that Edwards “lives on government handouts” and “being a modern woman gives her that right to make that decision [to have fatherless kids].” We can see where Edwards, 21, gets it from–her mother says that her grandchildren “need male role models but it doesn’t have to be a father.” As I’ve noted, “male role model” is code for “I’m too selfish to want to compromise with the father of my children, and having a husband may limit me or be inconvenient, so I’ll just cut dad out of the child’s life or use a sperm donor and, when (and if) convenient, shop for ‘role models’ for my son.” In my column Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Parents Good, Dads Bad (World Net Daily, 9/10/05) I explained: “[Single Motherhood by Choice advocate Peggy] Drexler does allow that some male figures can be positive for boys. Who? ‘Grandfathers, godfathers, uncles, family friends, coaches’–in short, anybody but dad. In fact, boys being raised without fathers benefit because they enjoy ‘more male figures in their lives than boys from traditional families.’ But more does not mean better, and a group of men with little stake in a boy”s life are a poor substitute for a father”s love and devotion to his children. Nor can they provide the modeling that boys need–the best way for a boy to learn how to become a good husband and father is to watch his father do it.” To read more and to watch the video, click here. Thanks to Stephen, a reader, for sending it.