Category: NPO in the media

THIS NEW YEAR is off to a remarkable start. With hundreds of rallies across the country, we know there are a variety of reasons people are tired of injustice, inequality, imbalance, and discrimination.

In our work to reform Virginia’s family courts, we certainly empathize with the emotions and goals of the marchers. Sadly, our family courts remain unchanged from a 1950s dynamic of “women stay home, men stay at work.”

This mindset has led to the status quo of sole child custody after divorce or separation versus shared parenting — a flexible arrangement where a child spends as close to equal time as possible with each parent.

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Most children of divorced parents who are not locked in conflict do best if they have plenty of time with each of their parents. Nevertheless laws and habits in family courts often leave these children with little access to one of their parents. Dan Deuel does a good job explaining how an ordinary citizen can get effectively involved in changing laws that do not serve families well.

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The National Parents Organization, a group that “seek better lives for children through family court reform that establishes equal rights and responsibilities for fathers and mothers”, is coming out in favor of new alimony reform legislation currently making it’s way through the Florida legislature.

The latest alimony reform bill would allow for more predictability in the Judge’s decision making it easier for the respective parties to financially plan for their lives following divorce but removes a controversial 50-50 child sharing component which drew Governor Rick Scott’s veto pen last year.

“The concept of permanent alimony is outdated in today’s society – alimony recipients must take some responsibility to earn a living after divorce in this day and age,” said Alan Frisher, Chair of National Parents Organization of Florida. “This welcome change would provide predictability and consistency for all, plus, divorcing spouses could settle their financial differences out of court versus spending countless dollars on wasteful litigation.”

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For juridical delicacy, arguably few matters match child custody, and just last year, Missouri’s lawmakers acted to clarify and refine procedures involving that hot-button topic by passing House Bill No. 1550, generally known as just HB 1550.

One problem. As in most legislation, legalese shrouds the nuances and niceties of HB 1550.

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The primary reason divorce is so traumatic for children is that, far too often, they lose one parent in the process. Family courts routinely give sole or primary parenting time to one parent (usually the mother) and marginalize the other (usually the father) in the child’s life. A study conducted for Nebraska found that courts gave sole or primary custody to mothers in 75 percent of cases but to fathers in only 15 percent. Those noncustodial fathers were allowed by the courts to see their kids just 16 percent of the time.

Courts do this despite social science demonstrating that equal or near-equal parenting time for each parent produces the best outcomes for children of divorce. In 2014, Dr. Richard Warshak, author of “Divorce Poison,” analyzed the existing science on the welfare of the children of divorce. His work was endorsed by 110 scientists worldwide working in the field of children’s well-being and parenting time.

Authoritative as Warshak’s work is, the science on the need of children for fathers scarcely stops with it. For decades, we’ve known that fatherlessness is the bane of children and society. Put simply, we should be doing everything in our power to keep fathers in children’s lives.

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Due to the spike of filings that typically occurs in the new year, January has become known as “Divorce Month.” It’s nothing to celebrate. Family cohesion has long been understood to be a bedrock of a safe, productive society.

Beginning in the late 1960s, the institution of no-fault divorce dramatically increased divorce rates. No-fault divorce was what spurred state Rep. Matt Krause, R-Fort Worth, to file a bill that would make divorces harder and more costly to obtain.

Krause’s bill isn’t likely to pass, but whatever its fate, we in Texas and across the country can do a better job of dealing with families when they split up. Specifically, we should make shared parenting the default outcome of every divorce in which children are involved and neither parent is unfit to care for them.

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Many of Kentucky’s children are asking us for a Christmas present. They want the gift of seeing both their parents this Christmas. Santa can’t bring this gift, but you and I can.

Children in married families enjoy both their parents. Children in divorced families enjoy whichever parent the court picked. These children may be allowed a short “visit” with their other parent. That is if the chosen parent allows it.

This outdated arrangement is called “sole custody,” where one parents owns (has custody of) the children. Meanwhile, the other parent can see his/her children only at limited times.

However, the better arrangement is called “shared parenting.” In shared parenting, children get to see both parents equally. Instead of a single parent winning, the children do. They win the right to have a constant relationship with both parents.

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A new survey of Maryland voters reveals overwhelming support for shared parenting following divorce.

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Are you celebrating the holidays with your children this year?  Are you wondering why I would ask such a question?  For thousands of Virginians, whether or not they spend a holiday with their children depends on the year and details of their custody agreements.

With America’s family courts consistently ordering “primary custody” arrangements, holidays are often big commodities and listed out in many custody arrangements.  While not required in Virginia, this kind of documenting (called a Parenting Plan by some states) is a very important place to start and should be required.  More than 80% of split families are unnecessarily ordered into primary custody arrangements – and only 30% of those have the father as primary custodian.  As more and more data supports the fact that shared parenting, after divorce or separation, benefits children the most, we must ask ourselves: What is taking our family courts so long to catch up to modern research?

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Many of Kentucky’s children are asking us for a Christmas present. They want the gift of seeing both their parents this Christmas. Santa can’t bring this gift, but you and I can.

Children in married families enjoy both their parents. Children in divorced families enjoy whichever parent the court picked. These children may be allowed a short “visit” with their other parent. That is if the chosen parent allows it.

This outdated arrangement is called “sole custody,” where one parents owns (has custody of) the children. Meanwhile, the other parent can see his/her children only at limited times.

However, the better arrangement is called “shared parenting.” In shared parenting, children get to see both parents equally. Instead of a single parent winning, the children do. They win the right to have a constant relationship with both parents.

See more