Category: Blog

Los Angeles, CA–“Bill Veeck’s Indians had a 3-1 lead in the World Series, and played the deciding game 5 in Cleveland. There were 86,288 paid in attendance–at that point the largest crowd in the history of organized baseball.

“Veeck’s oldest son, Will Jr., was 11 years-old and lived with his mother and two siblings, but Bill Veeck brought him to the park to watch the game.

“At the game Bill turned to his son and said ‘Isn’t this great? Did you ever see such a tremendous crowd? Did you ever see anything in your life like this?’

“Bill Veeck’s 11 year-old son replied:

“‘How come you couldn’t have been a scientist or something I could have been proud of?'”

Nine U.S. states and the British territory of Bermuda have declared April 25 “Parental Alienation Awareness Day.” To learn more, visit www.Parental-Alienation-Awareness.com. Below is a Parental Alienation story from the 1940s which illustrates the problem very well.

Parental Alienation & Bill Veeck

One of my father’s favorite people is Bill Veeck. Veeck was a 1940/50s baseball owner known for his important role in desegregating baseball, as well as his flamboyant publicity stunts. Veeck signed Larry Doby, the first black player in the American League. Some sources say he attempted to integrate the major leagues as early as 1943 but was thwarted by league officials.

Recently I was reading Veeck’s 1962 autobiography Veeck as in Wreck, and Veeck mentions something in passing which I find very interesting. Veeck’s wife divorced him, in part because she “didn’t like the people Veeck associated with”–baseball men and journalists.

Unlike other owners, Veeck was not a rich man and had no independent fortune, so when his wife divorced him he was forced to sell the Cleveland Indians–who he had built into a championship team–in order to pay her divorce settlement. I don’t want to blame her–Veeck may well have been over-involved in his work, as men sometimes are, and Ms. Veeck needed money to raise their three kids.

Nonetheless, there is something Veeck mentions in passing in his book which is extremely sad and revealing. His wife and he had split up, and she nixed an attempted reconciliation. Always a fan favorite, in 1948 Veeck was the toast of Cleveland as his Indians had won the American League pennant for the first time in three decades.

Veeck’s Indians had a 3-1 lead in the World Series, and played the deciding game 5 in Cleveland. There were 86,288 paid in attendance–at that point the largest crowd in the history of organized baseball. Veeck’s oldest son, Will Jr., was 11 years-old and lived with his mother and two siblings, but Bill Veeck brought him to the park to watch the game.

At the game Bill turned to his son and said “Isn’t this great? Did you ever see such a tremendous crowd? Did you ever see anything in your life like this?”

Bill Veeck’s 11 year-old son replied:

“How come you couldn’t have been a scientist or something I could have been proud of?”

What an extremely unusual reaction for an 11 year-old boy in that situation. I wonder who taught him how to think like that?

Veeck writes that his son later went to MIT and became a teacher, and that “I’m an admirer of his, unfortunately from a distance.”

Veeck was one of the most adored and popular figures in all of baseball history–any idea why his son would be so hostile to him?

San Jose, CA–Phil, a reader in San Jose, writes:

“Glenn, get this–this mother stood there while her ‘boyfriend’ beat and stomped the 6-year-old-boy to death. The stupid judge said that she ‘failed to intervene more aggressively,’ but in fact she did nothing, then helped him bury the kid in Arizona…all the while lying to the father. Samuel Corona [the killer boyfriend] then told Kathryn Jimenez [the mother], ‘Say goodbye to your son,’ and beat the boy to death, police said.

“The judge said she was a victim of ‘terrorism’ and therefore not really responsible. Can you imagine if this was the FATHER that allowed the killing, buried the body, covered it up, and lied to the mother and the authorities?”

The mother got five years of probation, including a year in county jail, and will be released in a few months.

Oscar Jimenez Sr., the boy’s father who was separated from the mother, says:

“What kind of message is that sending to people? All she’s getting is a slap on the wrist.”

According to Oscar Jimenez, Kathryn Jimenez had many chances to shield the boy from Corona’s repeated abuse, and could have put the boy in his care or that of other relatives.

The two stories are S.J. mom who stood by as son was beaten to death gets a year in jail (San Francisco Chronicle, 3/5/08) and San Jose mother of slain 6-year-old sentenced to year in jail, probation (San Jose Mercury News, 3/5/08).

Good thing they didn’t allow dad to have custody…

Englewood, FL–This story is being reported along the lines of “news of the bizarre,” but I would like to know if what this man says is actually true–that he’s left with less then $100 from his paycheck after child support deductions.

The reporter is Angela Watson Gay of the Dayton Daily News. Perhaps readers would like to write and call her and see if she can follow up on the story — anwatson@DaytonDailyNews.com or (937) 225-2374.

Wal-Mart thief: ‘Child support made me do it’
Angela Watson Gay
Dayton Daily News, March 19, 2008

ENGLEWOOD — March 15: A theft was reported at Wal-Mart, 7725 Hoke Road, after a male exited the store with a shopping cart full of groceries he under rung at a self-checkout lane.

The receipt showed 15 items totaling $37.15, but the cart contained 30 additional items totaling $183.07.

When asked what he was doing, the subject told police, “Being stupid. I’m too old for this but this child support is killing me.”

The subject said that after child support deductions are taken from his paycheck, he is left with less than $100 to live on.

Police charged him with theft and issued a summons to court.

Florida–“A woman in Central Florida who was arrested after telling authorities she went ‘on strike’ and left her teens home alone because they would fight is no longer facing charges in the case. Melissa G. Dean, 33, was charged with child neglect after telling Ocala police and the Department of Children and Families that she leaves her children, ages 17, 16, 14 and 13, home alone.

“According to a charging affidavit, Dean said the children needed to start cleaning up and stop fighting and that she had no control over them. Dean also said she was fed up with being run over in her own home and having no privacy, according to the affidavit.

“Dean told a DCF official that she decided to ‘go on strike’ because no one would help with her children, saying the police and courts would do nothing to help her. Dean, a Walgreens manager, said she spends nights at a friend’s house and would only spend one night per week at her home, the affidavit stated…The state decided not to prosecute because the chances of conviction were too slim…”

I don’t know if the father(s) of these four children abandoned them or were driven out by mom or some combination of both. But I do know one thing–if the dad were there, was a functional person, and was allowed to parent his children without being undermined, the mom wouldn’t be “being run over in her own home” by the kids, and the kids would not be out of control. The story is a nice example of what happens when dads are absent.

Thanks to Peter, a reader, for the story.

Phoenix, AZ–One of the big stories out of the southwest this week has been the abduction of a toddler from Child Protective Services–apparently abducted by his parents, apparently with the complicity of someone who has worked with CPS. According to Parents suspected of abuse accused of abducting tot (Arizona Republic, 3/15/08):

“A 17-month-old who police say was abducted by his parents and presumably taken to Mexico has been in the care of Child Protective Services since he was about 2 months old, when abuse allegations surfaced. Authorities’ efforts to find little Miguel Echave-Felix continued Friday…

“Police said Miguel was kidnapped Wednesday with the aid of a liaison who, less than two weeks before, left his job with Southwest Human Development, a company that has worked with CPS for more than a decade. Gonzales said the foster family probably didn’t know that Armando Flores, 47, was no longer an official liaison when he asked to take the baby to visit his parents.

“Flores is being held in a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of conspiracy to kidnap and custodial interference. Maricopa County sheriff’s records show Flores was born in Mexico, and immigration officials have placed a hold on him, meaning he cannot be released on bail. Holds are typically placed on someone believed to be in the country illegally.

“Flores told investigators he agreed to help Sobieda Felix and Angel Echave-Felix, both 35, flee to Mexico with the boy after a tearful plea, court records show.

“The Felixes were the subject of a Phoenix police and CPS investigation that began in December 2006. No charges had been filed in the abuse case, and the nature of the allegations was unclear.

“In the meantime, the boy had been living with foster parents and allowed supervised visits with his natural family…”

I try hard to be fair, but this case seems questionable to me. I realize that CPS has a difficult job. Whenever they remove a child from a home, people scream that it was unfair, abusive, indicative of a police state, etc., etc. On the other hand, whenever a horrific child abuse case is discovered, everybody — on the radio, on TV, in newspapers, in private discussions — says (all together now) “Where on earth was Child Protective Services?”

Perhaps when this case is resolved we will find out that the parents abused or neglected the child and that CPS acted appropriately. That is certainly possible. However, given some of the facts of the case, one wonders. Whatever the abuse was, there were never any charges filed. Even now, we apparently don’t know what it was that the parents are actually accused of doing.

The fact that a CPS liaison sympathized with the parents indicates that this might have been an unjust seizure of a child by CPS. The fact that the parents are from Mexico, are so poor that they apparently do not even own a vehicle, and probably do not speak English well, raises the suspicion that whatever their offense, this may all be more about the parents’ socioeconomic status than any real abuse.

I’m not saying CPS is wrong — I’m saying they might be wrong. In any case, if the state is going to seize a family’s child, I’d like to see a hell of a lot more justification for it than “the nature of the allegations was unclear.”

To learn more about issues with Child Protective Services, including my criticisms of the way CPS often marginalizes fathers, see my co-authored column Choosing Foster Parents over Fathers (San Diego Union-Tribune, 7/11/07) or click here.

Burmingham, England–One problem for dads in divorce is that they can often be arrested and get bad publicity for things which really are quite trivial and meaningless. As an example, take the recent UK headline Spider-Man arrested for harassing ex-wife. Sounds bad, right? Yet all that really happened is that fathers’ rights activist Ray Barry (pictured as “Spiderman” at a Fathers 4 Justice protest) “was quizzed [by police] after distributing a leaflet containing details of his marriage split.” According to Barry: “The leaflet details my belief that the family courts do not deliver justice and so I have to seek it differently, through the public. The leaflet was not much different to one I had been using for the past four or five years.”
The “58-year-old claimed not to have seen two of his three children for eight years and had only fortnightly access to the other.” So his crime? Distributing a leaflet complaining about his mistreatment in family court and by his ex-wife. Big deal. For a variety of reasons I don’t like it when protesters target judges’ homes or their ex-wives’ homes, and it isn’t generally done. But here Barry has been unlawfully cut off from his children for 8 years and–gasp–distributes a leaflet complaining about it in the neighborhood, and he gets arrested?! Sounds pretty cockeyed to me. And why have there been no legal consequences for the wife cutting Barry off from his children? The article is excerpted below. I met Ray at the Men’s Equality Congress in Washington DC last year–seemed like a nice guy. Spider-Man arrested for harassing ex-wife By James Cartledge Birmingham News, 3/17/08 A FORMER Birmingham civil servant who occupied a church roof dressed as Spider-Man has been arrested on suspicion of harassing his ex-wife. Fathers’ rights activist Ray Barry, who worked at Jobcentre Plus, in Hagley Road, Edgbaston, was quizzed after distributing a leaflet containing details of his marriage split. He twice scaled St Peter’s Church, Wolverhampton, in 2005, as part of the Fathers 4 Justice campaign and now plans to stand for election on a family law reform ticket. “The leaflet details my belief that the family courts do not deliver justice and so I have to seek it differently, through the public,” Mr Barry said. “The leaflet was not much different to one I had been using for the past four or five years. “The questions I was asked by the police seemed really rather innocuous.” Mr Barry, of Windsor Gardens, Castlecroft, Wolverhampton, distributed the leaflet around Tettenhall in the city, near his ex-wife Liz’s home. The 58-year-old claimed not to have seen two of his three children for eight years and had only fortnightly access to the other. He said he planned to stand in this year’s Wolverhampton City Council elections for the Equal Parenting Alliance, which campaigns to reform family law. Mr Barry now runs an insurance and personal injury consultancy is demanding greater openness in family court proceedings. West Midlands Police said a 58-year-old man had been arrested and bailed on suspicion of harassment.

Phoenix, AZ–One of the big stories out of the southwest this week has been the abduction of a toddler from Child Protective Services–apparently abducted by his parents, apparently with the complicity of someone who has worked with CPS. According to Parents suspected of abuse accused of abducting tot (Arizona Republic, 3/15/08):

“A 17-month-old who police say was abducted by his parents and presumably taken to Mexico has been in the care of Child Protective Services since he was about 2 months old, when abuse allegations surfaced. Authorities’ efforts to find little Miguel Echave-Felix continued Friday…

“Police said Miguel was kidnapped Wednesday with the aid of a liaison who, less than two weeks before, left his job with Southwest Human Development, a company that has worked with CPS for more than a decade. Gonzales said the foster family probably didn’t know that Armando Flores, 47, was no longer an official liaison when he asked to take the baby to visit his parents.

“Flores is being held in a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of conspiracy to kidnap and custodial interference. Maricopa County sheriff’s records show Flores was born in Mexico, and immigration officials have placed a hold on him, meaning he cannot be released on bail. Holds are typically placed on someone believed to be in the country illegally.

“Flores told investigators he agreed to help Sobieda Felix and Angel Echave-Felix, both 35, flee to Mexico with the boy after a tearful plea, court records show.

“The Felixes were the subject of a Phoenix police and CPS investigation that began in December 2006. No charges had been filed in the abuse case, and the nature of the allegations was unclear.

“In the meantime, the boy had been living with foster parents and allowed supervised visits with his natural family…”

I try hard to be fair, but this case seems questionable to me. I realize that CPS has a difficult job. Whenever they remove a child from a home, people scream that it was unfair, abusive, indicative of a police state, etc., etc. On the other hand, whenever a horrific child abuse case is discovered, everybody — on the radio, on TV, in newspapers, in private discussions — says (all together now) “Where on earth was Child Protective Services?”

Perhaps when this case is resolved we will find out that the parents abused or neglected the child and that CPS acted appropriately. That is certainly possible. However, given some of the facts of the case, one wonders. Whatever the abuse was, there were never any charges filed. Even now, we apparently don’t know what it was that the parents are actually accused of doing.

The fact that a CPS liaison sympathized with the parents indicates that this might have been an unjust seizure of a child by CPS. The fact that the parents are from Mexico, are so poor that they apparently do not even own a vehicle, and probably do not speak English well, raises the suspicion that whatever their offense, this may all be more about the parents’ socioeconomic status than any real abuse.

I’m not saying CPS is wrong — I’m saying they might be wrong. In any case, if the state is going to seize a family’s child, I’d like to see a hell of a lot more justification for it than “the nature of the allegations was unclear.”

To learn more about issues with Child Protective Services, including my criticisms of the way CPS often marginalizes fathers, see my co-authored column Choosing Foster Parents over Fathers (San Diego Union-Tribune, 7/11/07) or click here.