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NYC Domestic Violence Killing: Amid Tragedy, Some Progress

New York City, New York–“A woman is dead allegedly at the hands of her husband, who neighbors say was the frequent target of her abuse.

“The 50-year old woman was found strangled inside her apartment just before 10 a.m. Saturday at the Red Hook houses at 151 Richard Street. Her 58-year old husband is in critical condition with stab wounds to chest and arms, possibly self-inflicted.

“Neighbors say the couple struggled with alcohol problem and that the wife was abusive to her husband. They say he apparently had enough when she returned home Saturday morning and allegedly strangled her with the belt of a bathrobe.

“He may have tried to commit suicide. Police aren’t commenting.”

In the audio, the 1010 WINS radio reporter says “neighbors say he was the nicest guy, and they wonder why he took the abuse for so long.” One neighbor who knew him and his wife said:

“She abused him–she beats him up all the time. He probably couldn’t take it no more…she hit in the back of the head with a bat.”

I’m certainly not going to declare the guy an innocent victim or say I’m sure he acted in self-defense, but the third party accounts of his abuse at the hands of his wife certainly suggest it’s possible. The step forward is that the radio station actually acknowledged that he may well have been a victim of domestic violence, and that his action may have been in self-defense or retaliation.

To learn more, listen to the audio by clicking here. The story is Domestic Violence Turns Deadly in Brooklyn (3/30/08).

The story is also another example of the large role that substance abuse plays in domestic violence.

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Father-Positive Rice Krispies Commercial

Los Angeles, CA–A nice, father-positive Rice Krispies commercial. To watch, click here.

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‘It was difficult reassuring my boys during my divorce-they say their friends’ dads could only see their kids on weekends’

Los Angeles, CA–One of my favorite readers is Kelly, a single father with shared custody who lives in the greater Los Angeles area. Recently he wrote: “Glenn, there is a comic strip called ‘For Better or Worse,’ which has a story line about a single custodial dad finding love and trying to bring his young daughter around to the whole idea of a stepmother.
“The scene in this touched me deeply. It was difficult reassuring my boys when I was going through my divorce. They were only three and four at the time. They saw how many of their friends’ dads were only able to see their kids on the weekends. I would always hug them tight and say to them, ‘I will always be your daddy, and I will always be here no matter what.'”

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Some Great Fatherly Advice from Rocky Balboa

Los Angeles, CA–It’s not about how hard you hit–it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

In the movie Rocky Balboa (2006), Rocky gives his son some great advice. According to one description, Rocky’s son, Robert (Milo Ventimiglia), is “the opposite of Rocky – a buttoned-down, corporate-minded businessman who is trying to carve out his own place in a very different world. Rocky’s relationship with Robert is strained because Robert has always had to live under the shadow of his famous father; he even believes that the only reason he was hired for his latest job was because of his last name.”

In the video clip, Rocky has decided to fight one last fight. Robert, feeling that his father will embarrass himself and embarrass his son, tries to talk him out of it. Robert feels frustrated with his life and feels that he’s not achieving what he wants to achieve because he is always linked to his father.

To watch the video, click here or see below.

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=PmqDQCQhKHM]

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More Lazy Husbands

Los Angeles, CA–More lazy husbands from Dana Summers’ comic Bound and Gagged.

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Her mother had said she was holding on so she could see her dad one last time, and maybe it was true…

Lincoln, NE–Background: In 10-Year-Old Girl Dying; Mom Says Daughter’s Last Wish Is To See Her Dad, I discussed the heart wrenching case of 10-year-old Jayci Yaeger, who is dying of brain cancer and “has one final wish — to have her father spend some time at her bedside before she dies.”

On March 27, the father was allowed to take leave from prison to go see his dying little girl. He is in a federal mimimum security prison on a drug conviction.

The end to an unbelievably sad story. The poor girl. Her mother had said she was holding on so she could see her dad one last time, and maybe it was true–the day after she saw her dad, she died.

I’m posting this and then I’m going to give my little girl a big hug…

Jayci Yaeger Dies After Seeing Imprisoned Father

LINCOLN, Neb. — A 10-year-old girl has died, just a day after her wish to see her father was granted.

Jayci Yaeger’s imprisoned father, Jason, went to her bedside Wednesday — a visit federal authorities allowed only after being deluged with letters and phone calls from across the nation.

Jayci had terminal brain cancer. Her family had been pleading with federal prison officials in Yankton, S.D., to allow her father to see his daughter before she died.

On Wednesday afternoon, prison guards drove Jason Yaeger to a Lincoln hospice, where he spent less than an hour at her bedside. No one else was allowed in the room except Jason Yaeger, Jayci and the escorts.

Sources said Yaeger did leave the girl’s side to consult with hospice counselors and get some direction on how to speak with the girl about what she was going through.

Prior to Wednesday, the prison warden had allowed Jason Yaeger three visits to his daughter, but had denied requests for a longer furlough or an early transfer to a halfway house in Council Bluffs, Iowa. The warden told Yaeger it was not viewed as an extraordinary circumstance.

Letters and e-mails from across the nation have reached the Yaeger family and appealed to the prison to allow the man to see his daughter. The family asked the media to share their story with the hope of encouraging prison officials to allow the visit.

He’s scheduled to be released to a halfway house in August.

Yaeger asked President George W. Bush for clemency. Yaeger spent four years in a federal prison on methamphetamine-related charges. Officials with the Federal Bureau of Prisons would not confirm a visit took place.

Officials said they would only comment on a possible visit after a prisoner returned from a furlough.

On Thursday, Jayci’s mother described Jayci’s condition as minute-by-minute, saying the girl had gone into respiratory distress three times that day.

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Dying Young Girl Gets Her Final Wish Granted-She Sees Her Dad

Lincoln, NE–Background: In 10-Year-Old Girl Dying; Mom Says Daughter’s Last Wish Is To See Her Dad, I discussed the heart wrenching case of 10-year-old Jayci Yaeger, who is dying of brain cancer and “has one final wish — to have her father spend some time at her bedside before she dies.”

Some good news in a tragic story– Jason Yaeger has been allowed to visit his dying daughter. The story is below, along with a video link here.

It’s a hard video to watch, seeing that little lamb lying there in that condition.

Thanks to Mister-M, a reader, for sending the story.

Dad Allowed to Take Leave From Prison to See His Dying Little Girl
Thursday, March 27, 2008

OMAHA, Neb. — A 10-year-old Nebraska girl with terminal brain cancer had a simple last wish: to have her dad by her side as she lay on her death bed.

On Wednesday, seemingly against all odds, Jayci Yaeger’s wish came true.

Her father, Jason Yaeger (pictured), who has been locked up in a South Dakota federal prison on methamphetamine charges, was allowed to see his daughter for what may be the last time.

He was furloughed after a barrage of letters and phone calls from around the country convinced officials to let him visit the hospital, according to KETV.com.

Jayci, who cannot speak, move or eat, could sense that her father was next to her and feel his touch, because she began breathing more heavily during his visit, the family told FOX News.

But to their disappointment, the visit lasted only about 30 minutes.

“She wants her dad. She goes to her room crying because she wants her dad,” Jayci’s mom, Vonda Yaeger, told KETV before the prison warden agreed to permit Jason to see his daughter.

The girl’s condition has been described as minute-to-minute, and she recently suffered a stroke.

Vonda Yaeger said Jayci went into respiratory distress three times on Thursday.

Jason Yaeger has been behind bars for almost five years, and has battled drug addiction. He is scheduled to be released to a halfway house in August.

Click here to read more on this story from KETV.com

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Michael Jordan Must Have a Good Attorney-He Won’t Have to Pay $5 M to Woman Who Didn’t Bear His Child

Illinois–“The Illinois Supreme Court declined on Wednesday to hear an appeal in the long-running legal dispute between Michael Jordan and a former lover who claims the retired superstar promised her $5 million.

“Karla Knafel contends that the former Chicago Bulls superstar agreed to pay her the money for remaining silent and agreeing not to file a paternity suit after she learned she was pregnant in 1991.

“Jordan denied making the promise and sued the woman in 2002, saying that she was trying to extort money from him and the child was not his. DNA tests later showed that Jordan was not the father.

“In December, a state appeals court ruled in Jordan’s favor, saying that even if Jordan made the agreement, the deal was unenforceable because Knafel had misled him about whether he was the child’s father.”

It shows how bad things are that I’m actually pleasantly surprised that Michael Jordan doesn’t have to pay $5 million to a woman to support a child who is not his. He must have a good attorney.

God knows how much he’d have to pay in “child support” if it were his kid.

The story is Michael Jordan’s ex-lover stymied by Illinois Supreme Court (Chicago Tribune, 3/27/08). Thanks to Justin, a reader, for sending it.

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Seven Children by Five Different Men-You Go Girl!

England–“You couldn”t avoid doing a double-take when you read it.

“Karen Matthews, mother of the missing schoolgirl Shannon who thankfully was discovered alive and well a few days ago, referred to her daughter and one of her other six children as ‘twins”. These children are actually aged nine and ten.

“But Ms Matthews says they are twins because she thinks that”s what you call children who have the same father. With seven children by five different men, she seems to have no idea of what having the same father actually means.”

An interesting observation from Melanie Phillips’ recent article Reaping the whirlwind (Daily Mail, 3/17/08). Seven children by five different men–you go girl!

I bet each of the five relationship breakdowns were all the father’s fault, too.

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Judges’ Decisions in Domestic Violence Cases

Arizona–“Jack Peyton remembers the scene in vivid detail. Eric Hill at the defense table. Felicia Simmons at the plaintiff’s table, a newborn in her arms. In the back of the courtroom, Angela Gayden (pictured) sat with a 3-month-old.

“One man. Two girlfriends. Two babies. It was Jan. 2 and Hill was accused of violating his probation in a domestic violence case involving Simmons. Peyton, a Pima County justice of the peace, had to decide. Should he send Hill to jail or give him another shot at probation? He gave Hill a second chance.

“Two days later, Gayden was dead. Tucson police say Hill murdered Gayden and dumped her body in the desert with Simmons’ help.

“At the time, Hill was on probation for beating Simmons, not Gayden. Nearly three months later Peyton still has a difficult time discussing the case.’

“‘I still haven’t come to grips with it,” Peyton said Wednesday, tears in his eyes. ‘I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights.'”

There are many aspects of the story Even the judge’s heart breaks in Domestic Violence Court: Trying to prevent repeat crimes is a challenging goal (Arizona Daily Star, 3/23/08) which merit discussion, but I will reserve my comments to only one–judges.

On countless occasions we have discussed the problems men face with the domestic violence system. False accusations of domestic violence are rampant, and are used to get restraining orders, win child custody, get a financial edge in divorce, to punish men, or to get rid of the inconvenient boyfriends or husbands. Judges rubber stamp requests for temporary restraining orders, and exercise far too little judicial review over permanent restraining orders. The evidence standard is usually preponderance, meaning he said/she said, meaning that it’s a lot safer politically to go with the “she said” than with the “he said.”

That being said, while many in our movement love to bash judges (“tyrants in black robes”), far too little consideration is given to the difficult position these judges are in. Yes, the domestic violence system as it currently stands violates men’s rights and ruins men and fathers. Yes, feminists are partly to blame for this. Chivalrous, traditional men are also partly to blame.

But let us never forget this–men like Eric Hill are also very much to blame.

Read the full article here.