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Tiger Woods and His Father

“When Tiger became the first black man ever to win the Masters [in 1997] he cried like a little boy in the arms of his father, who was there against doctor’s orders after almost dying in heart surgery.”

Tiger Woods’ father Earl died last year at age 74. Eugene Robinson wrote in the Washington Post:

“Earl Woods did much more than raise a supremely talented golfer. In an age when it’s rare to read a sentence with the words ‘African American’ and ‘father’ that doesn’t also include ‘absent’ or some other pejorative, Earl and Tiger Woods were the world’s most visible, and inspiring, counterexample. ‘He was the person I looked up to more than anyone,’ Tiger Woods said following his father’s death, and even the world’s biggest cynic had to know he meant every word.

“To me, the two defining aspects of Tiger Woods’s career have been his supernatural ability to make a golf ball do impossible things and his relationship with his father. Two moments stand out: The Sunday afternoon in 1997 when Tiger became the first black man ever to win the Masters and cried like a little boy in the arms of his father, who was there against doctor’s orders after almost dying in heart surgery. And the Sunday afternoon in 2005 when Tiger won his fourth Masters and cried again, because Earl Woods, for the first time, had been too sick to come to the course and root him on.”

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NPO in the media

Holstein Co-Authors Piece on Mary Winkler Custody Case

September 25, 2007

Ned Holstein, M.D., Executive Director of Fathers & Families, recently co-authored a piece on the Mary Winkler saga, arguing that Winkler, who killed her husband in March of 2006, should not receive custody of her three children. The column, written with columnist Glenn Sacks, is No child custody for husband-killer Mary Winkler (World Net Daily, 9/14/07). It appears below. No child custody for husband-killer Mary Winkler By Glenn Sacks and Ned Holstein, M.D. World Net Daily, 9/14/07 A killer shoots his spouse in the back, and then pulls the phone cord out so the victim can”t call 911. As the victim slowly bleeds to death, the killer abducts their three children and flees to another state. An Amber Alert is declared for the missing children, and the killer is hunted down by police, caught, and tried. Were the killer a man, he would be locked away for life. However, this killer is a woman, Mary Winkler. The kid gloves treatment she has received from the legal system demonstrates how courts tilt heavily in favor of women when adjudicating claims of domestic abuse.

Mary Winkler told the court that Matthew had abused her physically, sexually and emotionally. For that reason, the Selmer, Tennessee jury convicted her of voluntary manslaughter, not first degree murder. Since the March 22, 2006 killing, Mary and Matthew”s three children–girls ages 2, 8 and 10–have lived with Matthew”s parents, Dan and Diane Winkler. The Winkler grandparents seek to terminate Mary”s parental rights and adopt the girls. Mary, who served only 67 days for the killing, wants custody of her girls, and went on Oprah this week to win public sympathy for her cause. The custody trial begins in Carroll County Chancery Court next week, and many Tennessee family law attorneys believe she has a good chance to gain custody. A win for Mary would be a loss for the three girls, as well as a terrible injustice. Despite the sympathetic media Mary Winkler has received, she is a dangerous, psychologically disturbed woman who is unfit to raise her children, and whose parental rights should be terminated. Mary Winkler”s claims of abuse were largely uncorroborated during the trial. According to the testimony from Matthew Winkler’s oldest daughter, Patricia, the dead father–who as he lay dying looked at his wife and asked “why?”–was a good man, and did not abuse her mother. Former judge and prosecutor Jeanine Pirro says the case “sends a terrible message about the criminal justice system, that you can commit a homicide and literally get away with it…You had a preacher, who by all accounts was loved in his community, who was shot in the back while he slept. You have a woman who says she was abused with absolutely no history, no shred of evidence.’ At the trial, Diane Winkler, Matthew Winkler’s mother, said: “The monster that you have painted for the world to see, I don’t think that monster existed…for everything you’ve accused him of, there never was proof, just accusations. I think that’s sad because he can’t speak for himself.” A few of Mary Winkler”s friends and family members have publicly claimed that they had previously seen indications that Mary was being abused. These witnesses will probably be out in full force during the upcoming custody case, and Matthew is unavailable to contest their version of events. It’s easy to smear a dead man. Mary Winkler says she”s sorry for killing Matthew, but she does everything she can to portray him as a monster and herself as his meek, timid victim. Despite her protestations, she has no concept of the gravity of her crime, and claims her dead husband’s parents are mistreating her by not letting her be with her children. Her court pleading reads, “The three minor children continue to be withheld from their mother without just cause,’ which her legal team deems “unconscionable.” Winkler killed the children”s father–if that’s not “just cause” for withholding a child from a parent, what is? In describing her crime to Oprah, Mary Winkler says she was angry at her husband and “just wanted to talk to him,” and then she “heard a boom.’ A more complete description of the incident would have been that she wanted to talk to him, waited until he fell asleep, retrieved the shotgun, pumped it, aimed it at his back, pulled the trigger, and then “heard a boom.’ Her description of the killing was so devoid of personal responsibility that even a sympathetic Oprah didn”t accept it. Perhaps the most absurd aspect of both the trial and Oprah was the way Mary highlighted the white platform shoes which she claimed Matthew “made her’ wear, and which she said were deeply humiliating to her. During the trial, Mary held up the shoe and bowed her head down in mock pain and shame. Oprah bought it, telling her audience that on her show “everybody gasped when they saw the shoe.’ It was up to feminist Court TV commentator Lisa Bloom, Gloria Allred”s daughter, to explain to Oprah that in any “big city” people would have “laughed at’ Mary”s claims that the shoes were part of the “abuse’ she suffered. Bloom added: “We [at Court TV] all thought it was a first degree murder case.” In order to win permanent custody, Dan and Diane Winkler must show that Mary Winkler poses a “substantial threat of harm to her children,’ and that ending her parental rights is in the best interests of her children. In family court, claims of abuse in custody cases are often decided merely by the preponderance of the evidence standard–if the judge believes that there”s a 51% chance one side is telling the truth, they win. Yet Mary was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter, not by preponderance, nor even by the clear and convincing evidence standard, but instead by the standard of beyond a reasonable doubt–the highest standard in our legal system. That alone is sufficient evidence that Winkler poses a “substantial threat of harm.’ Mary says she”s a different and better person now, and that she”s learned important things. She told Oprah: “I communicate better. I speak up when there”s something I don”t like.’ The last time Mary Winkler faced something she “didn”t like’ and sought to “communicate,’ she did it with a shotgun. Is this a fit parent for three young girls? www.FathersandFamilies.org

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Fathers & Families News Digest, 9/24/07

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families‘ latest News Digest.

Torn by distance, he wonders how far to take custody fight (Boston Globe, 9/24/07)

Rell Cancels Plan To Charge Custodial Parents For Child Support (Associated Press, 9/24/07)

When Ties to a Parent Are Cut by the Other (New York Times, 9/23/07)

Marriage declining in Oregon, especially suburbs, rural counties (Associated Press, 9/23/07)

Men are smartest and dumbest, say scientists (London Times, 9/23/07)

Stephen Baskerville’s Taken Into Custody: The War Against Fathers, Marriage, and the Family will be released soon–click here to learn more.

Video: Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers (The Onion, 9/21/07) (Satire)

Inside the Charlie & Denise Custody Battle (OK! Magazine, 9/21/07)

N.D. group studies state custody laws (Fargo Forum, 9/20/07)

Public committee to abolish automatic maternal custody of children under 6 (Haaretz, 9/20/07)

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Robin Williams on Divorce

“Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning ‘to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”–Robin Williams

Robin Williams had one divorce, but I don’t know to what degree it shaped his thinking on the issue. It’s interesting though, that a couple of the characters Williams has played in movies are divorced men who were very hurt by the experience.

He plays Tom Dobbs, a comedian-turned-presidential candidate, in Man of the Year, and Dobbs speaks of his divorce in hurt tones, as if he had been greatly criticized or vilified by his ex.

Of greater significance is Williams’ role in Mrs. Doubtfire, where, cut out of his beloved children’s lives by his ex-wife after their divorce, he poses as an elderly Scottish woman to get a job as a nanny for his own children. Wikipedia’ s write-up of the plot can be found here.

Thanks to Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Families and Children for the quote.

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‘She hit him in the head with a plate…then an officer saw him push her out of his face…He was arrested’

A letter from a reader: “Once I was at a southern-style diner in Virginia. A man was eating with friends when I can only guess his wife showed up, mad as hell. They exchanged words, and she picked up a plate and hit him in the head with it. However when a [police] officer walked in for lunch, he saw him push her out of his face. He was arrested right there on the spot. “The waitress informed the cop what had happened, but he still refused to arrest the woman.
He only arrested her after other customers informed him that if he didn’t, they would all go the police station and file reports on him for not doing his job. “He replied that he was under orders to arrest only the man in any domestic violence situation, no matter what.” [Note: If you or someone you love is being abused, the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women provides crisis intervention and support services to victims of domestic violence and their families.]

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Another Father-Positive Car Commercial From Ford

Ford has come out with a new father-positive car commercial for its 2008 Taurus. The ad, called “We Know,” depicts a father looking out for his little son as he rides his bicycle, and then draws an analogy between the way the father knows how to keep his son safe and the way Ford says its automobile engineers know how to keep people safe. The ad depicts the father as being what the vast majority of fathers (and mothers) are–caring, loving parents. To watch, click here. Last year there was considerable controversy in the fatherhood movement over Ford’s controversial “Bold Moves’ divorced dad ad for the Ford Freestyle. The ad can be viewed here.
Some saw the ad as degrading or insulting to divorced dads, and I received numerous letters urging me to launch a protest campaign against the ad, as we’ve done in the past. Others saw the commercial as a positive for divorced dads. I discussed the ad’s pros and cons in my E-newsletter here. As I’ve noted, while I understand people’s negative reaction to the commercial, as a whole I see it as a positive development. In my co-authored column Dads finally get fair shake in the media (Chicago Sun-Times, 12/24/06) I explained: “[The ad] was another step forward for fathers. The ad begins with a stereotypically happy family taking a trip to the beach in a Ford Freestyle SUV. At the end of the commercial comes an unexpected twist–the car pulls into a housing complex, and dad gets out. He hugs his kids, tells them he”ll see them next week, tells his ex-wife, ‘Thanks for inviting me this weekend,’ and waves goodbye. “The ad does more than give heretofore invisible divorced dads some needed visibility; it also provides an important image of a divorced couple working to preserve their children”s relationships with both parents. Dad remains involved, and his ex, instead of putting forth her new husband as the children”s ‘new dad,’ invites him along.” Thanks to Justin, a reader, for sending me the new Ford commercial.

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Law and Order SVU Depicts Parental Alienation (Video)

A recent episode of Law and Order SVU has a nice depiction of Parental Alienation. It depicts a grandmother falsely accusing a mother of molesting the child as part of a custody maneuver. (It would have been better, of course, if they had depicted a false charge being leveled against a father, since they’re the most frequent targets, but I’ll take it).

When the police psychologist says the charges are false and are the result of “Parental Alienation Syndrome,” another cop says, “I thought PAS was when a couple splits up and the mom brainwashes the kids into thinking the Dad’s a bastard.” The police psychologist explains that, in this case, it’s “emotional abuse inflicted [on the girl] by her ‘loving’ grandmother’.”

Watch the short video clip here.

Thanks to Greg Andresen of Dads on the Air in Australia and Keryn McLachlan for the video.

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Rod Stewart on Marriage & Divorce

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”–Rod Stewart

It’s a funny quote with some truth to it, but, to be fair, Stewart has been married three times, divorced twice, and has fathered seven children with five different women.

Thanks to Michael Robinson of the California Alliance for Families and Children for the quote.

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New Column: No Child Custody for Husband-Killer Mary Winkler

“The monster that you have painted for the world to see, I don’t think that monster existed…for everything you’ve accused him of, there never was proof, just accusations. I think that’s sad because he can’t speak for himself.”– Diane Winkler, Matthew Winkler’s mother

My new co-authored column, No child custody for husband-killer Mary Winkler (World Net Daily, 9/14/07), argues that Winkler got off with a slap on the wrist, is psychologically disturbed, and shouldn’t be granted custody of her three children.

To write a Letter to the Editor of World Net Daily, click here. I penned the column with Ned Holstein, M.D., Executive Director of Fathers & Families, a shared parenting organization.

No child custody for husband-killer Mary Winkler
By Glenn Sacks and Ned Holstein, M.D.

A killer shoots his spouse in the back, and then pulls the phone cord out so the victim can”t call 911. As the victim slowly bleeds to death, the killer abducts their three children and flees to another state.

An Amber Alert is declared for the missing children, and the killer is hunted down by police, caught, and tried. Were the killer a man, he would be locked away for life. However, this killer is a woman, Mary Winkler. The kid gloves treatment she has received from the legal system demonstrates how courts tilt heavily in favor of women when adjudicating claims of domestic abuse.

Mary Winkler told the court that Matthew had abused her physically, sexually and emotionally. For that reason, the Selmer, Tennessee jury convicted her of voluntary manslaughter, not first degree murder.

Since the March 22, 2006 killing, Mary and Matthew”s three children–girls ages 2, 8 and 10–have lived with Matthew”s parents, Dan and Diane Winkler. The Winkler grandparents seek to terminate Mary”s parental rights and adopt the girls. Mary, who served only 67 days for the killing, wants custody of her girls, and went on Oprah this week to win public sympathy for her cause. The custody trial begins in Carroll County Chancery Court next week, and many Tennessee family law attorneys believe she has a good chance to gain custody.

A win for Mary would be a loss for the three girls, as well as a terrible injustice. Despite the sympathetic media Mary Winkler has received, she is a dangerous, psychologically disturbed woman who is unfit to raise her children, and whose parental rights should be terminated.

Mary Winkler”s claims of abuse were largely uncorroborated during the trial. According to the testimony from Matthew Winkler’s oldest daughter, Patricia, the dead father–who as he lay dying looked at his wife and asked “why?”–was a good man, and did not abuse her mother.

Former judge and prosecutor Jeanine Pirro says the case “sends a terrible message about the criminal justice system, that you can commit a homicide and literally get away with it…You had a preacher, who by all accounts was loved in his community, who was shot in the back while he slept. You have a woman who says she was abused with absolutely no history, no shred of evidence.’

At the trial, Diane Winkler, Matthew Winkler’s mother, said:

“The monster that you have painted for the world to see, I don’t think that monster existed…for everything you’ve accused him of, there never was proof, just accusations. I think that’s sad because he can’t speak for himself.”

A few of Mary Winkler”s friends and family members have publicly claimed that they had previously seen indications that Mary was being abused. These witnesses will probably be out in full force during the upcoming custody case, and Matthew is unavailable to contest their version of events. It’s easy to smear a dead man.

Mary Winkler says she”s sorry for killing Matthew, but she does everything she can to portray him as a monster and herself as his meek, timid victim. Despite her protestations, she has no concept of the gravity of her crime, and claims her dead husband’s parents are mistreating her by not letting her be with her children. Her court pleading reads, “The three minor children continue to be withheld from their mother without just cause,’ which her legal team deems “unconscionable.” Winkler killed the children”s father–if that’s not “just cause” for withholding a child from a parent, what is?

In describing her crime to Oprah, Mary Winkler says she was angry at her husband and “just wanted to talk to him,” and then she “heard a boom.’ A more complete description of the incident would have been that she wanted to talk to him, waited until he fell asleep, retrieved the shotgun, pumped it, aimed it at his back, pulled the trigger, and then “heard a boom.’ Her description of the killing was so devoid of personal responsibility that even a sympathetic Oprah didn”t accept it.

Perhaps the most absurd aspect of both the trial and Oprah was the way Mary highlighted the white platform shoes which she claimed Matthew “made her’ wear, and which she said were deeply humiliating to her. During the trial, Mary held up the shoe and bowed her head down in mock pain and shame. Oprah bought it, telling her audience that on her show “everybody gasped when they saw the shoe.’ It was up to feminist Court TV commentator Lisa Bloom, Gloria Allred”s daughter, to explain to Oprah that in any “big city” people would have “laughed at’ Mary”s claims that the shoes were part of the “abuse’ she suffered. Bloom added:

“We [at Court TV] all thought it was a first degree murder case.”

In order to win permanent custody, Dan and Diane Winkler must show that Mary Winkler poses a “substantial threat of harm to her children,’ and that ending her parental rights is in the best interests of her children. In family court, claims of abuse in custody cases are often decided merely by the preponderance of the evidence standard–if the judge believes that there”s a 51% chance one side is telling the truth, they win. Yet Mary was found guilty of voluntary manslaughter, not by preponderance, nor even by the clear and convincing evidence standard, but instead by the standard of beyond a reasonable doubt–the highest standard in our legal system. That alone is sufficient evidence that Winkler poses a “substantial threat of harm.’

Mary says she”s a different and better person now, and that she”s learned important things. She told Oprah:

“I communicate better. I speak up when there”s something I don”t like.’

The last time Mary Winkler faced something she “didn”t like’ and sought to “communicate,’ she did it with a shotgun. Is this a fit parent for three young girls?

Glenn Sacks” columns on men’s and fathers’ issues have appeared in dozens of the largest newspapers in the United States. He invites readers to visit his website at www.GlennSacks.com.

Ned Holstein, M.D. is the Executive Director of Fathers & Families, a shared parenting organization. Their website is www.FathersandFamilies.org.

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Men Are Idiots in Nike’s Women’s Soccer Commercials

If you ask most women athletes about their careers, they’ll tell you about a male coach they had somewhere along the way who encouraged them, taught them, and help them become what they are. There’s no hint of this, however, in Nike’s women’s soccer commercials.

The men are idiots in both “Tearaway” (pictured) and “Mask.” In “Tearaway,” a woman also inflicts great pain on a man, which is, of course, “funny.”

To watch “Tearaway,” click here. To watch “Mask,” click here.