Dear Glenn,
I was married in May 1994 to a woman I had been dating for 4 years. It hadn’t been the best relationship, but we thought we loved each other. I wound up getting her pregnant on our honeymoon, and while we knew it was going to be hard, we were joyfully looking forward to our child’s birth. I was very excited and happy, and couldn’t wait. I was working hard to earn money, and while she never worked full time in her life, she had a small part time job that helped.
The end of August I arrived home early as I was sick as a dog, and when I entered our apartment, I was confronted with her having sex with her boss at the time. I got very angry and lunged at the man and began screaming at him, etc. She jumped on MY back and DEFENDED HIM!!!! I kicked him out and we were verbally fighting for a while although nothing that bad. No police were called, and in the end we decided she should go to her parents’ house for the night until we could calm down and discuss things further.
I went to work the next day and when I came home the apartment was empty, as was the bank account (we still had over 10k in wedding money in there). I didn’t know what was going on so I called her at her parents house where I was informed by her mother that she won’t be coming back because I beat her up and they had a bruise on her arm to prove it. Glenn, I never laid a hand on her, and can only assume that it happened when she jumped on my back.
To make a long story short she got a restraining order on me, I had to contact my attorney to get progress reports on my unborn child, and I wasn’t even allowed to participate or view the birth. My son was born 2.5 months premature, and I wouldn’t have even know she was having medical difficulties had a friend of mine not called me to tell me about it. I had to find out hours later that my son was born and was so premature he might not make it. I was told I couldn’t be at the hospital the same time as her, so I was forced to go late, often 11PM-1AM, and then to work the next day!!! I did this for months until he was released. Once he was released, our divorce was finalized and I was told that I was abusive and I could only have 2 hours on Sundays at her parents house of visitation, with a court appointed person.
I showed up for my first visit and was told that she “had moved” and nobody knew where she was, but I could continue to send child support to her parents’ house and they would hold it for her. The law states that as long as they state they do not know where she is, there is no way to enforce visitation. Needless to say it was 11 yrs before I got any communication from her, paying child support the whole time. Private investigators, courts, lawyers, nobody could help me as she had disappeared. Nothing was in her name, and I had nothing to go on.
By the time she was found, she has been remarried, her husband is known as “dad”, and even though I send letters every 2 weeks, cards and presents, I was told that I am not “allowed” to write “dad” on the cards because it upsets him. All communication goes through her, I do not even know if he gets my letters and gifts. I have tried to go to the courts, but at this point I have spent over $250k to fight her, and to be honest he is so against me at this point I have all but given up. I have supplied benefits and child support the entire time, yet she is allowed to just leave and no repercussions.
Thanks for letting me vent.