Jim Cook, often called “The Father of Joint Custody,” passed away last week. He is pictured above at the left along with Warren Farrell (right) and Dr. Ned Holstein (center). Time Magazine described Jim’s work in 2003:
As late as 1971, the Minnesota State Bar Association’s handbook advised lawyers and judges that “except in very rare cases, the father should not have custody of the minor children. He is usually unqualified psychologically and emotionally.”
When James Cook, a Los Angeles real estate lobbyist, divorced in 1974 and sought shared custody of his son, “the judge thought it was preposterous,” he recalls. “He told me, ‘I don’t have permission to do it.'”
Outraged, Cook and some friends organized the Joint Custody Association and in 1979 pushed through the California legislature the first law encouraging joint custody. All 50 states eventually followed suit…..
David L. Levy of the Children’s Rights Council writes:
I call Jim Cook the “father of joint custody.” He almost single-handedly started the joint custody movement in the late 1970’s. He was instrumental in convincing his state of California to pass a strong joint custody statute in 1979, and he then traveled state to state for many years propagating the values of joint custody.
He was thoroughly aware of the research, which he presented in a clear, diplomatic, laid-back California style of testimony before various legislative bodies, boards and commissions. He had earlier experienced his own custody battle regarding his son, and he gave the world a blessing by his subsequent advocacy work.
Jayne Major of Breakthrough Parenting in Los Angeles writes:
What a blessing that I could call him my friend. Oh that all of us could leave a legacy as big as he has. He changed the way the whole United States looks at the custody of children and was tireless in promoting joint custody. We owe a lot to Jim.
George McCasland, who worked with Cook in the 1980s and 90s, says “Cook’s work helped millions.”.
I had the pleasure of meeting with Jim on several occasions here in Los Angeles and always found him gracious, informative, and kind-hearted.
Ned Holstein, founder of Fathers & Families, says:
In the struggle for shared parenting, Jim was a giant.
I had the good fortune to meet Jim several times. He was modest, soft-spoken, gentle and unfailingly helpful. Every time I called him, he had good advice to share, an anecdote, literature he had written supporting shared parenting, or shrewd tactics to suggest. He always did so in a kind, self-effacing way.
Each year, as we struggle and move forward on the road to full equality as parents, I can’t help but remember how far people like Jim brought us before we even began our own labors.
The graveside service for Jim is scheduled for Friday, March 6, 2009 at 3:00 p.m. A memorial service will be held for Jim at 3 PM on Saturday at Old North Church and a reception will be held Saturday, March 7, 2009 at 4:30 p.m. at the Hall of Liberty. All services will be held at Forest Lawn Memorial-Parks, Hollywood Hills, located at 6300 Forest Lawn Drive, Los Angeles, California 90068.
Jasmin E. Martinez of Forest Lawn can be reached at 1-800-204-3131 for questions. Martinez advises that friends and family are welcome to either mail their condolences to the above address in care of James Cook’s family or can submit their condolences either by email to info@forestlawn.com or by fax to 323-769-7336.