‘It’s crazy-you have to convince the judge that you should be allowed time with your own children’

Baltimore, MD–A few notes from recent radio appearances: I recently discussed Madonna’s divorce on The Ron Smith Show on WBAL AM 1090 in Baltimore. One of the points Smith made is that the divorce system so often separates fathers from their children that it’s a lousy bet for a man to get married these days. Since you can be divorced against your will at any time, there’s really no way to protect yourself. A prenup can help you protect your assets to some degree, but there’s nothing you can do to protect your time and relationship with your children.
Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as a child custody prenup–the courts can do whatever they want in the alleged “best interests of the child.” It was interesting, too, that even though I had made no announcement or indication that I was going to be on the show, two out of the show’s three callers identified themselves as subscribers to my weekly E-Newsletter. That’s a positive sign about our growth. I discussed our DART Campaign  and various aspects of the domestic violence issue on The Morning Beat with Curtis Wright in Wilmington, North Carolina Friday. Wright said that he had been in court recently and a man was trying to get a restraining order against his allegedly violent wife. According to Wright, the judge told the man:

A big, strong man like you shouldn’t want to file a restraining order against his poor little wife, should he?

He also said some interesting things about what it’s like to be a father in divorce court, explaining:

One day you’re a father and you never dream of being separated from your kids. The next you’re in family court and it’s crazy–you have to convince the judge that you should be allowed time with your own children. Even when your own kids express this sentiment it’s treated with suspicion. My daughter said “All I want is to be able to spend half the time with my dad”–why would that be treated as if it’s something strange?

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