Los Angeles, CA–Marlene, a reader, writes:
My divorce was finalized on my daughter’s second birthday. My ex-husband and I went through the motions to please the judge, but did it “our” way. We maintained a proximity of less than 3 miles, spent holidays together, shared in all of our daughter’s sports and academic activities. I remarried with the understanding that I could never move away from my little girl’s dad. My ex never paid child support. He “paid” by supporting our child.
She is the one that “paid” for our mistakes, and we had the obligation to make our decision to be apart as painless as possible. Personally, I don’t get it. I think that if we step back to remember the passion and love that we once had for our ex-spouse, we will remember how we wanted the very best for each other. My ex (I would rather refer to him as my daughter’s dad) and I now enjoy seeing our 21-year-old young lady flourish with a world of confidence. She has been shown so much love by her dad and stepdad. She is very stable and has adjusted well to our selfish decisions. I urge any moms out there to take a step back and examine themselves. The courts make the rules. The courts are DESTROYING families because we’re letting them. Be fair to your kids. In the end, your children will praise their mom for being the hero that says, “What the heck? You wanna see your dad? How long will it take you to get dressed?” After all, ladies, what will it really hurt?