When Terry or Charlie Baton play a sport or have a parent-teacher conference or band concern, they know their four parents will be there. The teenage boys live in two homes about 50-50. And they are, say mom Amanda Davis and dad Shane Baton, about the best-adjusted children of divorce around.
“We agreed when we got divorced that the kids come first,” said Davis.
“We divorced each other, not them,” added Baton.
Davis and Baton are almost seven years into shared parenting in the wake of divorce, which makes them both trendy and unusual. Shared parenting is growing in popularity — several states already have laws creating a presumption that children will be raised by both parents post-breakup, and 20 state legislatures considered such laws last year, with varying results, although a presumption of shared parenting is very rare. Only 17 percent of custody cases result in shared parenting, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
Recently, several research groups have endorsed shared parenting, which is not exactly synonymous with joint custody, since that can be legal or physical or both, said Ned Holstein, founder and acting executive director of the National Parents Organization, which vocally supports the practice. With shared parenting, children live atleast30 percent of the time with each parent.Decision-makingismoreequalthanwhenoneparent has legal or physical custody, too.