February 23, 2021 by Indiana Lee
Whether you have shared custody of your children or one parent has sole custody and the other has visitation, communication between children and both parents is important. It helps to establish more equal parenting time and can be beneficial for your children’s mental health.
In recent years, computer communication has become more prominent than ever. Thanks to video chats, FaceTime, and even chatting online and emails, your child can effectively communicate with both parents with just a few simple clicks. Doing so can help to prevent parental alienation and keep both you and your co-parent in the loop about what is going on in your children’s lives.
But, if your child is going to spend time on the computer, there must be some ground rules in place. Your greatest priority should be to keep them safe and to teach them healthy habits of communication that can be used throughout their lives.
So, how can you and your co-parent work together to establish healthy online communication with your children?
Setting an Example
One of the best ways to help your children understand proper computer usage is to practice it. Using electronic communication is a great way to stay in touch with your co-parent. You can privately discuss things like:
- Child support
- Decisions about the marital home
- Scheduling
- Your children’s activities
By setting a positive example for your children when it comes to how to effectively communicate online, they’re more likely to do the same.
Keep in mind, however, that your child might not be ready to use a computer just yet. It’s recommended that children under three years of age don’t use computers, as the devices likely don’t match the appropriate learning style of that age group. However, as you probably already know if you have a little one running around, toddlers love watching everything you do, and they are fantastic imitators. When they see how you communicate using the computer, they may adapt to it more naturally when they’re old enough to do the same.
Establishing Healthy Computer Habits
When it’s finally time for your children to use the computer, establishing healthy habits early on can not only help them to communicate effectively but can show them that computer privileges aren’t to be abused. As a parent, you are the one who should be deciding how computer time is limited and how that time should be used.
You can make it easier for your children to understand these limits by trying things like:
- Using programs that set times when a child can use the computer.
- Setting a timer.
- Using music/a playlist to track computer time.
- Creating a paper chart to track weekly computer time.
Limiting your child’s computer time will not only improve the efficiency of their communication, it will encourage them to do other things. Too much time on the computer can lead to everything from sleep issues to physical problems. If your child isn’t limited in their usage of computers and other tech, they could develop poor habits and health issues that can follow them into adulthood. These include vision problems, posture issues, or things like “tech neck” that can cause a lot of pain in the neck and shoulders.
Make sure if you’re setting limits and rules, they are followed in both parental households. If not, your child might start to argue or fight back about certain restrictions in one house or another. Consistency is key if you truly want healthy computer habits to stick.
Keeping Your Children Safe Online
Again, your top priority should be your child’s safety when they’re on the computer. Working with your co-parent to establish rules and educating your child on how to stay safe online is of the utmost importance.
Teaching your children how to be safe early on will instill habits that will stay with them into adulthood, so they will be well aware of some of the most common cyber dangers. Some of the most important things to teach them include:
- Understanding the potential dangers, including online predators and scams.
- Protecting their personal information.
- Securing their devices and accounts.
It’s also important to talk to them about the dangers of cyberbullying. If your children are going to be spending time online communicating with your co-parent, they are undoubtedly going to be exploring other areas of the Internet. They may even want to talk with classmates and friends. Unfortunately, cyberbullying remains a big problem, especially on social media. So much so, that 36% of students say that they have experienced some form of it. Make sure to talk to your children about recognizing the signs of bullying online, including:
- Harassment
- Exclusion
- Teasing
- Trickery
- Dissing
- Negative talk
When they know they can come to you if they are being teased or tormented, you can put a stop to whatever is going on and keep them safe.
The most important thing is to be on the same page with your co-parent when it comes to helping your children understand how to use the computer. It can be a fantastic communication tool, but it comes with big responsibilities. The more you’re willing to work together to establish rules and safety guidelines, the better.
Indiana Lee lives in the Northwest and has a passion for the environment and healthy lifestyles. She draws her inspiration from nature and makes sure to explore the outdoors regularly with her two dogs. Indiana enjoys mountain bicycling and hiking on her off time and has experience in owning and operating her own business. Feel free to contact her at indianaleewrites@gmail.com or follow her on twitter @indianalee3