Category: NPO in the media

According to the National Parents Organization, a nonprofit that supports family court reform, 24 states are considering or recently passed bills that embrace parental equality if both parents are fit and there has been no domestic violence.

Matt Hale, chairman of the Kentucky affiliate of the National Parents Organization, said shared parenting is not a single, clearly defined concept. States that have adopted legislation have differed in how they apply shared parenting. Recent states to pass legislation include Missouri, which doesn’t require 50/50 sharing but encourages involvement by both parents, and Kentucky, where the governor recently signed a bill establishing a presumption of shared parenting and 50/50 custody in temporary custody cases where there is little likelihood of abuse and neglect.

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Earlier this year, The Washington Post’s Kathleen Parker appeared on Greta Van Susteren’s MSNBC show “On The Record” as part of a panel discussing the Women’s March.  To be clear, while the Women’s March was an amazing event for a host of reasons, this article is not about that March.  It is about the unfortunate, inaccurate and sexist comments made by Ms. Parker while discussing the Women’s March.  For some reason, Ms. Parker felt it appropriate to suddenly state, “men don’t have the attention span to pull something like this off.”  (I am pretty sure Martin Luther King, Jr. was male, and I seem to remember him organizing some kind of March, but I digress.)  When the rest of the panel expressed disagreement with her comment, Ms. Parker unfortunately doubled down by saying, “Well, you know…what [divorced] men do is just run off, get married again and have more kids.”

The fact that she was comfortable making these statements on national television says a lot by itself.  Moreover, these comments are ultimately not helpful to the many men and women who are working very hard to achieve gender equality.   To be clear, women have faced (and continue to face) their share of sexist comments.  Those comments are as equally inaccurate and unhelpful as Ms. Parker’s comments about men during the Women’s March.  This op-ed focuses on how Ms. Parker’s comments are indicative of a larger, systemic issue in our society, and that we must overcome that kind of divisive rhetoric for all our sakes.

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Today’s child custody law, which favors the antiquated breadwinner/caregiver model, is far from reflective of today’s families. Both moms and dads desire to be hands-on parents as well as career-oriented. And a growing body of research shows that children desperately need and want equal access to both parents, not the current status quo of sole custody, when their parents divorce or separate.

Thankfully, Missouri legislators are currently considering legislation that embraces parental equality and encourages our state’s judges to award shared parenting, a flexible arrangement where children spend as close to equal time as possible with each parent.

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Monday, Gov. Matt Bevin signed a revised law affecting temporary child-custody orders — the starting point for divorces. Kentucky’s House and Senate unanimously approved the law, which creates a presumption of joint custody and equal parenting time.

The new law, House Bill 492, answers many Kentucky children’s prayers. The Easter bunny is bringing children a better chance to see both parents after a divorce.

Children in married families enjoy both their parents. Before the new law, children in divorced families enjoyed whichever parent the court picked (primary custody). These children may be allowed a short visit with the other parent.

However, the new law encourages a better arrangement called shared parenting. In shared parenting, children get to see both parents equally. Instead of a single parent winning, the children do.

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Kentucky Governor Bevin signed a family court reform bill into law on Monday, April 10, bringing Kentucky a step closer to making shared parenting in instances of divorce the norm in the state.

The bill, House Bill 492, received unanimous support in both the House (voted 97-0) and Senate (38-0), signaling a long overdue change in our family court’s approach to awarding custody in instances of divorce. The new law is also supported by an overwhelming amount of research showing it is in a child’s best interest to have as close to equal time with both parents in instances of divorce, particularly early on in the process.

“Children are now more likely to see both parents regularly after a divorce, which is a huge win for the children of Kentucky considering research consistently shows shared parenting is in the best interest of children when their parents divorce,” said Matt Hale, Chair of National Parents Organization of Kentucky. “Plus, parents are no longer in the high-conflict winner win all and loser lose all situation.”

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The gender pay gap—women earn, on average, 79 cents for every dollar a typical man makes—will not be an easy issue to solve. Contrary to logic, the growth of women in managerial roles hasn’t done much to break down pay disparities between men and women, and diversity initiatives, while effective in boosting the percentage of female employees at a company, often don’t go far enough in ensuring they’re compensated equally.

The pay gap is most pronounced among married women with children (it’s often referred to as “the motherhood penalty”). The total failure of federal and corporate policies to support working mothers means that the outmoded idea that a successful career and family life are mutually exclusive still often manifests itself in a woman’s salary. Introducing comprehensive paid-leave policies is a critical step forward, but to Ned Holstein, a physician and the founder of the National Parents Organization (NPO), it doesn’t fully account for everyone affected by unequal pay policies—specifically, mothers who are separated or divorced from their partners.

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Florida’s alimony laws were written when women had little economic power, when divorce was uncommon, and cohabiting was scandalous. Those days are long gone, but the old-fashioned alimony laws — favoring permanent alimony, until death — linger.

The laws cause immense hardship for those who must support an ex-spouse until he dies or she dies, even for marriages of fewer than 10 years and even to healthy women who begin collecting at 33 years old.

Current alimony law in Florida is emotionally and financially harmful to many families. As an example, many couples who wish to tie the knot are forgoing marriage because, under current Florida law, income from the “new” spouse can go toward alimony payments of the ex-spouse.

The current alimony laws are unfair, not just to the payers but to their children, their new spouses — and even the recipients, who are told never move on with their lives, and who remain on lifetime welfare. The public thinks it’s unfair — and so do most of Florida’s legislators. Twice now, once in 2013, and again in 2016, Florida legislators have voted to update the laws with new limits and plenty of room for judges to make decisions in unusual cases. Unfortunately, Gov. Rick Scott vetoed the bill both times.

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Since 1987, we have celebrated Women’s HistoryMonth in March. Described in Wikipedia, “Women‘s History Month is an annual declared month that highlights the contributions of women to events in history and contemporary society.” Women have fought against traditional roles that society imposed upon them and fought for rights granted to men. As we honor women’s success in the march towards gender equality, it is important to highlight that areas of inequality remain in our society. Specifically, and perhaps shockingly to those not familiar with divorce and child custody, much remains to be done in reforming Virginia Family Courts, which sadly remain a bastion of outmoded and biased thinking. This leads to destructive outcomes not only for parents, but also, more devastatingly, for children.

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In 1984, President Reagan issued a proclamation designating March 21 as National Single Parents Day, and in doing so, he stated, “Single parents can and do provide children with the financial, physical, emotional, and social support they need to take their places as productive and mature citizens.  With the active interest and support of friends, relatives and local communities, they can do even more to raise their children in the best environment possible.”

Today, evidence showing shared parenting – a flexible arrangement where children spend as close to equal time as possible with each parent – is in the best interest of children is overwhelming. Child development experts published by the American Psychological Association were clear in their 2014 consensus report: “Shared parenting should be the norm for parenting plans for children of all ages.”

To honor the intent of National Single Parents Day, government officials who value families must do more to support and protect relationships with both parents.

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NATIONAL PARENTS ORGANIZATION
PRESS RELEASE
March 17, 2017

BOSTON, MA – National Parents Organizationurges citizens and legislators nationwide to recognize National Single Parent Day on Tuesday, March 21, by supporting shared parenting legislation across the country.

“Right now, most children of divorce have just one single parent, plus one ‘visitor.’ With shared parenting, they get not just one, but two single parents – two for the price of one,” said Dr. Ned Holstein, Founder and Board Chair of National Parents Organization.

In 1984, President Ronald Reagan issued a proclamation for the day, and in doing so stated that “with the active interest and support of friends, relatives and local communities,” single parents “can do even more to raise their children in the best possible environment.”

“Today, the evidence showing shared parenting is in the best interest of children when parents divorce or separate is overwhelming. With this in mind, backing family law reform that seeks to move shared parenting from rare to common in courtrooms is a terrific way to support ‘the best possible environment’ for children,” Dr. Holstein said. 

While shared parenting – a flexible arrangement where children spend as close to equal time as possible with each parent – is unusual, efforts to turn it from the exception to the norm within family courts are growing. A few states have implemented reform, and numerous states – including Massachusetts, Missouri, North Dakota, Texas, Washington and West Virginia – are currently considering shared parenting legislation. Additionally, shared parenting has received high-profile endorsements, including support from the Catholic Church as well as the International Conference on Shared Parenting and the Council of Europe.

“Millions of American children are suffering from the outmoded practices of the family courts of awarding custody to just one parent, with only a few days per month of parenting time with the other parent. This custody model is not in the best interest of most children. It causes heartache for children, who ardently desire the love and guidance of both parents. And such children have higher rates of substance abuse, teen suicide, teen pregnancy and trouble with the law and do more poorly in school and are more likely to drop out,” Dr. Holstein said. “This National Single Parent Day, let’s work together to help give children of single parents what they most want and need – the constant love and support of both parents.”

RECENT RESEARCH: SHARED PARENTING VERSUS SINGLE PARENTING

Shared Parenting Data

·  In December, 2016, The American Psychological Association published research by William V. Fabricius of Arizona State University in the journal Psychology, Public Policy and Law titled, “Should Infants and Toddlers Have Frequent Overnight Parenting Time With Fathers? The Policy Debate and New Data.” Prof Fabricius’ findings provide “… strong support for policies to encourage frequent overnight parenting time [up to and including 50/50 overnights –Ed] for infants and toddlers [even younger than one year –Ed], because the benefits [for children-Ed] associated with overnights also held for parents who initially agreed about overnights as well as for those who disagreed and had the overnight parenting plan imposed over 1 parent’s objections.” Fabricius will share details on his findings during the International Conference on Shared Parenting 2017, a May 29-30, 2017 event in Boston, Mass., hosted by National Parents Organization and the International Council on Shared Parenting.

·  The Journal of the American Psychological Association published a paper titled “Social Science and Parenting Plans for Young Children: A Consensus Report” in 2014, and the conclusions were endorsed by 110 eminent authorities around the world. Authored by Dr. Richard Warshak at the University of Texas, the paper concluded, “… shared parenting should be the norm for parenting plans for children of all ages, including very young children.”

·  In 2016, Dr. Warshak wrote, “Two years after its publication, the conclusions and recommendations of the Warshak consensus report remain supported by science.” He also wrote, “The paper has been translated into at least eighteen languages and has informed legislative deliberations throughout the U.S. and parliamentary deliberations in several countries including the United Kingdom, Canada, Israel, Finland, Romania, Croatia, and Sweden. Two years after its publication, the consensus report continues to be one of the most downloaded papers from the journal’s website.” He added, “The list of endorsers and their stature and accomplishments reflect the field’s general acceptance of the consensus report’s findings as rooted in settled science from more than four decades of research directly relevant to this topic, including seminal studies by many of the endorsers.”

·  The Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health published a 150,000-person study titled “Fifty moves a year: Is there an association between joint physical custody and psychosomatic problems in children?” in 2015 that concluded shared parenting after divorce or separation is in the best interest of children’s health because the arrangement lowers their stress levels.

·  The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) published the recommendations of 32 family law experts in 2014, and the group concluded, “Children’s best interests are furthered by parenting plans that provide for continuing and shared parenting relationships that are safe, secure, and developmentally responsive and that also avoid a template calling for a specific division of time imposed on all families.”

Single Parenting Data

According to federal statistics from sources including the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, the U.S. Department of Justice and the U.S. Census Bureau, children raised by single parents account for:

•       63% of teen suicides;

•       70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions;

•       71% of high school drop-outs;

•       75% of children in chemical abuse centers;

•       85% of those in prison;

•       85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders; and

•       90% of homeless and runaway children.

ABOUT NATIONAL PARENTS ORGANIZATION

National Parents Organization, a charitable and educational 501 (c)(3) organization, seeks better lives for children through family law reform that establishes equal rights and responsibilities for fathers and mothers after divorce or separation. The organization is focused on promoting shared parenting and preserving a child’s strong bond with both parents, which is critically important to their emotional, mental, and physical health. In 2014, National Parents Organization released the Shared Parenting Report Card, the first study to rank the states on child custody laws. Visit the National Parents Organization website at www.nationalparentsorganization.org