Category: Blog

In this Pizza Hut ad, mom and the kids are horrified that dad is going to make dinner, because, of course, he can’t cook and only hip, smart mommy knows how to take care of the kids and run things.

The commercial is supposed to be funny, and I suppose it would be if it weren’t the thousandth time I’ve seen the “dad as idiot” theme. Chris, the reader who sent this to me, asks, “Why are men always the butt of the joke?” and that’s about how I feel, too.

In the picture, the mother, who’s assigned the standard role of “yes kids, we know dad’s a fool but don’t say anything,” is shocked–shocked!–that hubby came up with a good dinner. A good dinner he bought at Pizza Hut, of course.

To watch the commercial, click here or see below. To watch some other videos of “dad as idiot” TV commercials, click here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, or just turn on your television for 75 seconds.

[youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z5fg1ajFGao]

“A man who was pardoned after spending 18 years behind bars for a rape he didn’t commit has been sued for back child support.“Dwayne Allen Dail, 39, was cleared in August of the 1987 rape of a 12-year-old Goldsboro girl. The girl identified him as her attacker and hair found at the scene was similar to his. But DNA evidence found on a fragment of the girl’s nightgown years after the trial proved Dail wasn’t involved in the attack.

“Gov. Mike Easley pardoned Dail two weeks ago, making him eligible to receive $360,000 from the state – $20,000 for each year he spent in prison.“Dail, who now lives in Florida, was served Tuesday with a lawsuit by Lorraine Michaels, the mother of his son, who is seeking back child support. The suit does not specify how much money she wants, as is normal in North Carolina, but asks a ‘reasonable sum for the care and maintenance of the minor child.’ Dail did not provide while he was in prison.“Dail said he was devastated by the suit. He said his son recently moved to Florida to live with him.

“Michaels’ attorney, Sarah Heekin, said she filed court papers last week.

“Heekin is in the same law office as Don Strickland, the former Wayne County assistant district attorney who prosecuted Dail for rape.”

The above is from Wrongly Convicted Man Sued for Child Support (10/23/07) from WRAL in North Carolina. A few comments and questions:

1) The man’s son–who is 17 and was born after he went to prison–is now living with him–why should Dail (pictured) owe the ex child support?

2) “Dail did not provide while he was in prison”–what a bastard. While he was behind bars for 18 years for a crime he didn’t commit, he didn’t pay out part of the zero income he earned in prison to pay child support.

3) Lorraine Michaels takes being a greedy, self-centered ex to a new level. Does she really think she deserves a cut of the chicken feed $20,000 a year Dail got for being wrongly imprisoned?

A few other facts about the case:

1) According to another WRAL article:

“[Before the trial] prosecutors offered Dail a plea deal under which he would plead no contest to charges of taking indecent liberties with a minor and receive only three years’ probation in return…

“During the trial’s closing arguments, [prosecutor] Strickland remarked on Dail’s remarkable confidence in his innocence in the face of such serious charges, Dail said.

“After being sentenced to two life sentences, plus 18 years, Dail continued to maintain his innocence from behind bars. His exoneration justified all that confidence, Dail said at his release…

“In the future, Dail said he may write a book or go to college. He’s also enjoying reconnecting with his 17-year-old son Chris Michaels, who was born after he went to prison.

“‘He’s grown up only seeing his father in prison, and that’s a terrible way for a kid to grow up,’ Dail said.

“‘It’s over, so we can now start spending more time together and getting to know each other a lot better,’ Michaels said.”

Background: In my co-authored column, Servicemen victimized by child support system (World Net Daily, 6/27/07), I discuss the ways the child support enforcement system victimizes innocent citizens, particularly military personnel. I wrote:

“Many men – particularly those in the military – are targets of abusive child support enforcement practices. While states receive federal funds for every child support dollar they collect, there are scant penalties for abuses. As a result, enforcement agencies have little incentive to give targeted men due process, to fix mistakes, or to write off erroneously or unfairly accrued debt. Instead, the bureaucracy simply charges ahead in trying to collect as much as possible.”

I have also discussed how difficult it often is for deployed servicemen to litigate or resolve their divorce and child custody matters while they are overseas. In my co-authored column Protect Deployed Parents” Rights (Tucson Citizen & others, 11/9/06), I wrote:

“Divorced or separated military parents often lose custody of their children–and sometimes permanently forfeit any meaningful role in their lives–simply because they have served their country. Many married parents deploy overseas, never suspecting that their parenthood essentially ended the day they left home.”Here is another example of how our child support and family law system mistreats military fathers. In this case, a father serving with the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq comes back to the United States to visit his two daughters and ends up in jail for child support!Yes, he is behind on it–apparently because he was out of work for a while–but he has been paying child support directly out of his pay check each pay period. No, it doesn’t sound like this dad did everything right, but it doesn’t sound like he did much wrong either. It looks more like he was a victim of the child support system and his inability to fully litigate his divorce while overseas. Moreover, it sounds like this so-called “deadbeat dad” joined the Army and went to Iraq partly because he needed to earn money to help support his children. Now his short two-week visit home, in which he hoped to spend time with his two little daughters, has turned out so badly that he says he’s looking forward to going back to Iraq! Welcome home, soldier.

Here is another example of how our child support and family law system mistreats military fathers. In this case, a father serving with the 3rd Infantry Division in Iraq comes back to the United States to visit his two daughters and ends up in jail for child support!Yes, he is behind on it–apparently because he was out of work for a while–but he has been paying child support directly out of his pay check each pay period. No, it doesn’t sound like this dad did everything right, but it doesn’t sound like he did much wrong either. It looks more like he was a victim of the child support system and his inability to fully litigate his divorce while overseas. Moreover, it sounds like this so-called “deadbeat dad” joined the Army and went to Iraq partly because he needed to earn money to help support his children. Now his short two-week visit home, in which he hoped to spend time with his two little daughters, has turned out so badly that he says he’s looking forward to going back to Iraq! Welcome home, soldier.

Thanks to Mark, a reader, for sending me the story.

Local GI sent to jail
Oneonta Daily Star (10/23/07)
By Jake Palmateer
Staff Writer

COOPERSTOWN _ A soldier from Oneonta on leave from Iraq said Monday he can’t wait to return.
Aaron O’Connor, serving with the 3rd Infantry Division, had 15 days back in the United States and said he intended to take care of personal business at Fort Stewart, Ga., as well as get his divorce finalized in Cooperstown.

He said he also hoped to spend time with his two daughters.

His ex-wife, Christina O’Connor, has full custody of their 8-year-old and 4-year-old daughters.

What he said he didn’t count on was spending a night in Otsego County jail on a contempt-of-court warrant issued in January relating to not paying child and spousal support. That warrant is based on a Dec. 13, 2006, judgment by Otsego County Family Court Judge Brian Burns that ordered O’Connor to a six-month commitment to jail unless he remained current on his support payments for 12 months and paid all medical and dental bills for the children.

O’Connor said he was arrested on that warrant Friday while in Cooperstown to finalize his divorce. The arrest, he said, came as a shock because he has had his child and spousal support payments automatically deducted from his Army pay. He was released for the weekend to see his daughters but was ordered to report back to the jail Sunday night.

After a family court appearance Monday, O’Connor, 30, said he was released from jail after paying $378, including money for an eye appointment and glasses for one of his two daughters.

“I just spent time in jail for under $400,” O’Connor said from a cell phone as he drove with his girlfriend to Dulles International Airport near Washington, D.C. “This never should have happened.”

From Dulles, O’Connor will fly to Atlanta and then to Kuwait. After that, he said, his next stop is Camp Korean Village in Ar Rutba, Iraq.

A former Marine, O’Conner joined the Army last fall with the rank of sergeant and shipped out to Iraq in January.

“I don’t like being away from my daughters. But it pays. It’s what I know. It’s what I do,” O’Connor said.

Miami Herald columnist Ana Menendez discusses the “Elian Gonzalez II” campaign in her column Cuban girl’s case is part of the larger story (Miami Herald, 9/23/07). Menendez, whose parents are Cuban immigrants, writes:

“I believe the girl belongs with her father, Rafael. I believe children should be raised by their parents.”

This week I partnered with Dr. Ned Holstein and Fathers & Families in a campaign to protest this injustice. Thousands of you have answered our call to action, the campaign has been covered by the Associated Press, syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker of the Washington Post Writers Group, Knight-Ridder/Tribune News Service, and over a dozen Florida newspapers. Florida DCF, to their credit, has agreed to meet with us. To learn more or to join our campaign, click here.

Read Menendez’s full column here.

Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling (pictured), though almost 41 years-old and with a history of injuries, has come through for the Red Sox again so far this postseason.

With the Red Sox facing elimination in Game 6 of the American League Championship Series, Schilling beat the Indians, allowing only two runs in seven innings. He also shut out the Angels for seven innings in Game 3 of the American League Division Series, much to the consternation of my father, a big Angels’ fan, and myself. For several innings it looked like the Angels would get to Schilling, but he always avoided the knockout punch.

Curt Schilling was very close to his father, and was devastated when his father died in January 1988. Later that year, Schilling made the major leagues, but his father had not lived to see it. Schilling told ESPN:

“My father was the glue that held us together. When he died, I kind of lost my family.”

According to an entry on http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/, in a July 2005 interview, “Schilling revealed that in every difficult situation in life, he first asks what his father would have expected of him. In every game he starts, Curt reserves a seat for his father.”

The website adds:

“Schilling was very close to his father, the dominant influence in his life. His father helped him believe in himself, but also taught him about discipline and duty. Curt”s father died of lung cancer shortly before Curt made it to the Major Leagues. Curt’s behavior became erratic and unfocused, threatening his major league career, until a father figure, veteran Roger Clemens, took him aside and told him he was wasting his talent. Schilling then got serious about his career and became a dominant pitcher.”

In 2004, Schilling pitched for the Red Sox in the World Series, despite having a very painful ankle injury. The injury even bled during the game, but Schilling was effective, and the Red Sox won the World Series. The next year, Schilling had problems because of painful injuries and, being a very competitive athlete, was very upset over his situation. At the time, Schilling’s wife commented to the media on how badly Schilling missed his father, and wished he were there to help him during this difficult time. It was quite a testament to the bond Schilling shared with his father–17 years after his father’s death, Schilling still looked to him for help in a crisis.

During last night’s Republican presidential debate on FOX News, candidate Fred Thompson (pictured) cited family breakdown and the importance of fathers raising their children as being key to the well-being and education of America’s youth. Unfortunately, he also implied that family breakdown was caused simply by fathers “not staying and raising their kids.”

To watch Thompson’s comments, click here and scroll until there’s about 2:45 left.

Thanks to Kimberly, a reader, for sending it.

Below are some recent articles and items of interest from Fathers & Families’ latest News Digest.

Local agencies get grant support (The Troy Messenger, 10-15-07)

DHS, courts split on custody case (The Courier, 10-17-07)

Local case points out complexities of schools, child custody (Naples Daily News, 10-17-07)

Prosecutor: Custody dispute led to death (Winston-Salem Journal, 10-19-07)

Documents Show Rowland Asked For Divorce Seal To Protect Kids (Associated Press, 10-17-07)

Jon Voight Talks About His Divorce and Family Stigma (ABC News, 10-17-07)

A domestic violence court? (Deseret Morning News, 10-16-07)

Child support, bankruptcy trail former NBA player Caffey (The Press-Register, 10-21-07)

Behind on child support? Forget getting a hunting license in Kansas (Pratt Tribune, 10-19-07)

Truth-telling Missouri child support auditor Susan Montee (pictured) is under fire from the child support industry after revealing her finding that 27% of the state’s 240,000 child support cases have incorrect balances. She points out that when child support transferred cases from an old computer system to a new one nearly a decade ago, many of their figures were incorrect, and now–nearly a decade later–they still have not corrected them.

According to Montee’s figures, 65,000 cases have incorrect balances, some with phony arrearages of several hundred thousand dollars.

Director of Missouri Family Support Division Janel Luck has struck back at Montee, calling her “highly irresponsible” and accusing her of “misleading the public.” As I’ve pointed out on numerous occasions, child support enforcement agencies are notorious for their computer errors and bureaucratic bungling. Many innocent fathers have been wrongly targeted for enforcement action–including driver license suspensions and jail–as a result. Frankly, if anything, the 27% figure seems low.

To learn more about the Missouri controversy, read and/or watch the KOMU TV report by clicking here.

KOMU reporter Erica Bennett handled the story–if you’re concerned about this issue, or if you are a child support obligor in Missouri who believes he has been saddled with an incorrect arrearage, I suggest you contact her by clicking here.

Also, see my recent blog post Ponder This the Next Time You Hear Some Chest-Thumping DA Pledge to Crack Down on ‘Deadbeat Dads’ (Part I).

Thanks to child support expert Jane Spies of the National Family Justice Association for sending me the article. Jane discusses problems with the child support system in her recent article The Myth of the Successful Child Support System.

Background: During my youth, Jim Palmer (pictured) was pretty much the best pitcher in baseball, with the possible exception of Tom Seaver. He was usually the first starting pitcher we’d draft whenever I played Strat-O-Matic table baseball with my friends. From 1970 to 1978, Palmer went 176-97, and was voted into the Hall of Fame in 1990.

In Jim Palmer’s autobiography, Palmer and Weaver, he discusses his post-divorce relationship with his kids. Palmer praises his custody arrangement, which appears to have been quite like shared parenting:

“We’d raised our kids [in Baltimore] and were part of the community. And I’d always had the luxury, even after the divorce, of living in the same neighborhood as my kids and having them around when I was home, having breakfast with them in the morning, and them coming by on their way to school or on the way back from school, before I went to the ballpark.”

Jim has two daughters, Jamie and Kelly.

“Missouri”s child-support record-keeping is so bad that in an estimated 51,000 cases where back payments were owed, parents owed far more or less than records show.“An audit released Thursday by state Auditor Susan Montee”s office said that of 187,033 cases in which more than $1,000 in back child support was owed as of June 30, 2006, the amount owed was incorrect in 27 percent of the cases. That conclusion was based on a sample of findings from 209 cases.“In some cases, the audit found, record-keeping was so far off that parents were shown as owing $309,409 to $454,647 more than they actually owed…“It”s extremely sloppy,’ Montee said of the division”s system of tracking back child support. “It”s just a total inattention to making sure these numbers are right.’“The result, she said, is that unjustified enforcement actions against some parents — like paycheck deductions or confiscation of passports — may be taking place…”On numerous occasions I’ve discussed the fact that child support enforcement agencies’ information about child support obligors is often faulty, and that many fathers are unfairly victimized because of it.

In the new Kansas City Star article Audit criticizes Missouri”s child-support record-keeping, we learn that a new audit of Missouri child support found that “the amount owed was incorrect in 27 percent of the cases” and “record-keeping was so far off that parents were shown as owing $309,409 to $454,647 more than they actually owed.” Moreover, these errors “may” have led, um, to some “unjustified enforcement actions against some parents.” Oops.

Keep this in mind the next time you hear some chest-thumping District Attorney or Attorney General pledge to crack down on so-called “deadbeat dads.” Often the fathers targeted claim that they have been the victim of mistakes, and this audit again demonstrates that sometimes they’re right.

Tim Hoover, the Kansas City Star reporter, deserves credit for his frank reporting of this story. I suggest that readers send him a quick note to thank him–click here. The full story is here.

Thanks to child support expert Jane Spies of the National Family Justice Association for sending me the article. Jane discusses problems with the child support system in her recent article The Myth of the Successful Child Support System.