February 25, 2009
I discussed teen singer Chris Brown”s reported assault of singer Rihanna on Rover’s Morning Glory radio show in Cleveland, Memphis and other cities this morning. Rover is very tuned in to men’s and fathers’ issues, while his female co-host Duji is…less so. Rover was very interested in what happens to men who are accused of domestic violence, particularly in relation to divorce/custody. If this is something you have experienced, I suggest you write to him by clicking here. Teen singer Chris Brown”s reported assault of singer Rihanna is being widely depicted as an opportunity for society to learn about domestic violence, particularly teen dating violence. However, much of what the media and misguided women”s advocates are using the incident to teach is faulty. The view that males almost exclusively perpetrate domestic violence, and only females are victims is a severe distortion. For example, the most recent large-scale study of domestic violence was published in the American Journal of Public Health in 2007.
The researchers analyzed data concerning 11,000 respondents. According to the researchers, “[H]alf of [violent relationships] were reciprocally violent. In nonreciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more than 70% of the cases.’ I don’t want to prejudge Chris Brown, but from what we know so far, it certainly does not look good. During the show Rover speculated that Rihanna might have hit Chris Brown first because of a phone call he supposedly received. Duji said “So what?” and that Chris still should not have hit her. I think that Duji is half right and half wrong. Certainly I do not think a man should ever hit a woman unless it is absolutely necessary for self-defense. On the other hand, to simply dismiss a woman hitting a man first is outrageous. If what Rover speculates is true, Chris Brown is certainly guilty, but Rihanna is also guilty. Research shows something that is so obvious it should go without saying, except that in our PC/anti-male culture it needs to be said–the best way for a woman to avoid being hit by her male partner is to…not hit her male partner. That certainly won’t solve the whole problem of male-perpetrated domestic violence, but it would solve part of it. The New York Daily News quoted a couple of alleged insiders who said “Rihanna is temperamental, too…They’re both too hot-headed for their own good” and “It didn’t help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked.” This is questionable, of course — I haven’t seen any solid evidence that Rihanna did anything wrong. We also discussed anti-male bias in domestic violence arrest and prosecution policies. Several male callers said that their exes had physically attacked them, in part to provoke a response that could be used to get the man arrested in jailed. One guy said that he was arrested after confronting his ex over an affair she was having. While his story had some unusual details, I see this basic outline all the time — the husband discovers that the wife is having an affair, and the wife then accuses him of domestic violence in order to get them out of the house on a restraining order, push him out of their kids’ lives, and (sometimes) to move her new lover into their home.